HBO Fan Fiction Forum Index HBO Fan Fiction
Forum for HBO Fan Fiction Related Stuff
 
 FAQFAQ   SearchSearch   MemberlistMemberlist   UsergroupsUsergroups   RegisterRegister 
 ProfileProfile   Log in to check your private messagesLog in to check your private messages   Log inLog in 

Feed

 
Post new topic   Reply to topic    HBO Fan Fiction Forum Index -> Fan Fiction Comments
View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
hboff
Site Admin


Joined: 25 Jul 2004
Posts: 4356

PostPosted: Fri Nov 16, 2007 3:59 pm    Post subject: Feed Reply with quote

This topic is for posting comments to:

Feed
Posted by J. D. Ford (fordyman@comcast.net)
16 November 2007, 7:25 am

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=J._D._Ford1116070725041.html
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
The Meep
Member


Joined: 24 Mar 2006
Posts: 79
Location: Auburn, Maine E-mail me if there are any nearby LANs

PostPosted: Fri Nov 16, 2007 5:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Wow. That was really good. Never thought of the Flood in that sense.

92/100

~I~
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
kr1
IRC Channel Operator


Joined: 27 Feb 2007
Posts: 436
Location: UNSC Frigate September

PostPosted: Fri Nov 16, 2007 8:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Very interesting. I don't know if anyone's done this before here, but it was definitely a new and refreshing take on the Flood for me. I especially liked how the Mind and Seedling's conciousnesses seem muddled, like they're separate and the same at once.
_________________
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
fallschirmjager
Member


Joined: 24 Sep 2004
Posts: 262
Location: The girls bathroom.

PostPosted: Fri Nov 16, 2007 10:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Very nicely done. kr pretty much hit the nail on the head of how I felt about this piece.
_________________
We lie beneath the stars at night, our hands gripping each other tight.

Will you keep my secrets hope to die?
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message MSN Messenger
J. D. Ford
Member


Joined: 20 Sep 2007
Posts: 75
Location: Los Angeles, CA

PostPosted: Sat Nov 17, 2007 8:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Wow...this may be the first time I've ever gotten wholly positive critiques. There must be something wrong with the piece. Argh. Now you've gone and made me suspicious and furtive.

*examines own writing suspiciously*

^_^


~J. D. Ford
_________________
He who does not like Halo:CE is a dirty shisno.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Phædrus
Member


Joined: 13 Sep 2004
Posts: 957
Location: Southern California

PostPosted: Sun Nov 18, 2007 12:27 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I love it. No complaints here. It was a bit jarring at a couple of points, slipping back and forth between the Hatchling's thoughts and the narrative, but a solid and thoroughly enjoyable read nonetheless. I tip my hat off to you. Razz
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail AIM Address MSN Messenger
Spartan006
Member


Joined: 17 Mar 2006
Posts: 366
Location: On the worst internet ever...for real.

PostPosted: Sun Nov 18, 2007 12:53 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Excellent job, Ford. Like Phae said, slipping back and forth between the Hatchling's thoughts and the narrative was a bit confusing, but overall it was all good. 9.5/10
_________________
Randomly invading your fanfiction since 2006.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
SYSTEM
The Hammer


Joined: 30 Jul 2004
Posts: 3744
Location: Tango, Oscar, Charlie

PostPosted: Sun Nov 18, 2007 4:51 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Pretty good. I like stream-of-conscience fiction, especially when it's as well done as this. Descriptions were good and chilling, showing a new side to the flood - a sort of single-mindedly determined, sociopathic, relentless side that just doesn't know when to give up.

Reminds me of the borg.

I like.

- Dave.
_________________
"Lizzie Borden took an axe and gave her mother forty whacks. When she saw what she had done, she gave her father forty-one." - A child's nursery rhyme.

"When in doubt, empty your magazine." - Murphy's first law of combat operations.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message AIM Address
The Militant Poet
Member


Joined: 13 Oct 2007
Posts: 44

PostPosted: Mon Dec 03, 2007 9:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

This was fantastically written piece! The telepathic connection between the seedling and the mind was excellently portrayed, and it definately shed new light on the Flood and their back story. I honestly can't find any fault with this story, it's flawless!

10/10
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
Greenmjolnir
Member


Joined: 01 Oct 2007
Posts: 14
Location: Fringes of reality

PostPosted: Tue Dec 04, 2007 10:55 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
The Mind that had temporarily touched Seedling was watching now, though it longer augmented the hatchling's consciousness.


I think you were looking for: " though it no longer augmented the hatchling's consciousness."

But to be honest, I was so into it, that I almost missed that minor error. Very nice and with luck we will see more about the flood and thier virus/telepathic ways.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic    HBO Fan Fiction Forum Index -> Fan Fiction Comments All times are GMT
Page 1 of 1

 
Jump to:  
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum


Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2005 phpBB Group