HBO Fan Fiction

[hboff]

This topic is for posting comments to:

Long Time Gone Reveille Part One: Introductions and Informalities
Posted by fallschirmjager (grylsy@hotmail.com)
4 October 2007, 3:38 am

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=fallschirmja1004070338221.html

[Lord Beleth]

Besides a few formatting problems and spelling mistakes. This was a real good intro to the series. I like how its man vs. man as well, which is more my thing. The story was nicely written and had good descriptions to let me know what's going on. I like the suspense you created throughout the story and the kinda mysteriousness of Chris. Good dialog parts, although the character's national personality could use a little work, they all seem so American. A lot of the acronyms threw me off, lol I don't know what half that stuff means to be honest. And a desert camo would be more suitable for Africa.

But anyways, great job, great intro. Hope to see more from you. Keep up the great work!

Cheers,
-Lord Beleth
_________________
"Individual science fiction stories may seem as trivial as ever to the blinder critics and philosophers of today - but the core of science fiction, its essence has become crucial to our salvation if we are to be saved at all." -Isaac Asimov