HBO Fan Fiction

hboff · Site Admin Joined: 25 Jul 2004 Posts: 4351

This topic is for posting comments to:

Band of Brothers: The Poem
Posted by (ENS) Rabid_Gallagher (rabid_masterchief@hotmail.com)
14 November 2004, 5:38 AM

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=ens_rabid_ga.1114040538501.html

MC's Cousin · Mr. 1337 Joined: 30 Jul 2004 Posts: 2142 Location: Here.

If that had been a story I would have said something like this:

You didn't have any real material that held things together. I just couldnt get into the plot and see any reason for it having being written.
It needs more details and stuff to make it longer so that it's not just a short little piece of bland text.
Also, it needs to flow better. Use word better.

Overall, well, just apply that to your poem skills and you'll be fine.
_________________
-MCC

Regrets Assassin · Member Joined: 13 Nov 2004 Posts: 4 Location: Im lost

Hey it was an alright poem but it does need work, thanx for the good review too. Surprised

Solidus Snake · Posted: Mon Nov 15, 2004 1:36 am Post subject:

Should have given more details and what all went on during that battle and all. Tell a story in poem form.

(ENS) Rabid_Gallagher · Posted: Mon Nov 15, 2004 1:50 am Post subject:

Thanks guys, I'll make sure I'll take heed to your almight advice
_________________

"My appreciation for being quoted is being masked by my distaste for your incompetence, Gallagher" - Shrumertaor
Idea, Plot, Character, and Forum Signatures