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Band of Brothers: The Poem

 
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hboff
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PostPosted: Sun Nov 14, 2004 9:24 pm    Post subject: Band of Brothers: The Poem Reply with quote

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Band of Brothers: The Poem
Posted by (ENS) Rabid_Gallagher (rabid_masterchief@hotmail.com)
14 November 2004, 5:38 AM

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=ens_rabid_ga.1114040538501.html
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MC's Cousin
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Joined: 30 Jul 2004
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PostPosted: Sun Nov 14, 2004 11:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

If that had been a story I would have said something like this:

You didn't have any real material that held things together. I just couldnt get into the plot and see any reason for it having being written.
It needs more details and stuff to make it longer so that it's not just a short little piece of bland text.
Also, it needs to flow better. Use word better.

Overall, well, just apply that to your poem skills and you'll be fine.
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Regrets Assassin
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PostPosted: Sun Nov 14, 2004 11:58 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hey it was an alright poem but it does need work, thanx for the good review too. Surprised
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Solidus Snake
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PostPosted: Mon Nov 15, 2004 1:36 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Should have given more details and what all went on during that battle and all. Tell a story in poem form.
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(ENS) Rabid_Gallagher
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PostPosted: Mon Nov 15, 2004 1:50 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks guys, I'll make sure I'll take heed to your almight advice
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