HBO Fan Fiction

[hboff]

This topic is for posting comments to:

What If Tales: After The Sky Fell [Part One]
Posted by Jin1 (jermevans1990@gmail.com)
10 August 2007, 1:16 pm

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=Jin10810071316381.html

[Halo3...Aleks]

I liked this, it was well written and seemd quite well done. (I wish i knew what an StG44 was) The only little problem i saw was the screw up in the coding for one of the indents, you simply spelled indent wrong so it didnt appear as code. it came up as "[Idnent]" and it kinda screwed it up, but otherwise, excellent writing, a very unique story.

[Spartan006]

Great work again, Jin. Except for the previously mentioned indent incident, the only error I noticed came here,

[Jin1]

Sorry about the indent and grammer error, I usually don't have time to find everything when I submit it. My apologies, do you think if I ask Louis Wu he'll fix it?

Also, Halo3...Aleks, this is a Stg44:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sturmgewehr_44
_________________
"Now I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds."

-J. Robert Oppenheimer

[Lord Palarious]

not exactly the most original idea, but it has a catchy feel. some grammar trouble and you could go into a little more character development, but it grabbed my attention none the less. enjoyable, while predictable, would be my prognosis. and enjoyablility is what we aim for.

[Jin1]

I take critism usually pretty good but not the most original? Grammer I understand, I usually write the stories glance them over, character development, the story just started. But understandable. Creativity, I thought I hit that right on the mark.

Apologies but I just woke up and since I do check comments often this came at a... surprise.
_________________
"Now I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds."

-J. Robert Oppenheimer

[Lord Palarious]

i am NOT trying to say that it was not creatively done, or that it was a bad peice. like i said, i enjoyed it.
What i was saying was that i have seen quite a few scifi shows, short stories, novels, etc. that use the general time of WWII as a backdrop for an alternate storyline. It's been done a lot. And, of course, the interaction between scientist, soldiers, excetera, will always be predictable, and that's with all literature, really.
If it'll make you feel a little better, i didn't quite see the Nazis or after-war germans or what ever involved like that before it happened. Wasn't particularly suprised, but i didn't see it coming. Oh, and kudos for actually knowing some german firearms.

[UNSC Trooper]

Speaking of Nazis, how about a german perspective of the war, Jinny?

[Jin1]

German Perspective... I'll do it, but I may have to become more used to them. I did one story from their view but it turned out okay, and I didn't find it that good. But I'll try another.

Lord Palarious: I can see where your coming from and my apologies for it, I haven't had anyone say anything about the creativity. That on it's own came at a surprise.
_________________
"Now I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds."

-J. Robert Oppenheimer

[Lord Palarious]

oh, no, there's nothing to appologize. I should have been clearer on it. No one wants to submit a peice just to have some jackass rip it to shreds for fun. And it seems a lot of that goes on here.

[Col. Knadan]

This is quite a good story, however, why do American troops have a German WWII Assualt Rifle? That's it.

[Jin1]

Here ya go:

[Col. Knadan]

Ah, thanks Jin, I missed that part.

[Col. Knadan]

Jin, just an idea, but to me at least, it makes more sense if the soldiers are Russians armed with AK's. The reason I say this is because this after WWII right? And the Russians copied the StG 44 to make the AK-47's, so makes a bit more sense if they're Russians with AK's. That is it, bye!

[Phædrus]