HBO Fan Fiction

[hboff]

This topic is for posting comments to:

Death before dishonor
Posted by Aaron Rayburn (www.sparta24945@aol.com)
8 August 2007, 6:29 am

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=Aaron_Raybur0808070629571.html

[Slit Throat]

wow. umm...yeah

First things first: GRAMMAR!! Spell check is there for a reason. "leutenit" just won't cut it.

Second: use the code. Please, I'm begging you.

Third: start each line of dialogue on a new line. It helps. A lot.

I understand that this is the first piece of the story, so I'll let any plot problems go but seriously; clean up the nuts and bolts.