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Death before dishonor

 
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hboff
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Joined: 25 Jul 2004
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PostPosted: Fri Aug 10, 2007 2:24 pm    Post subject: Death before dishonor Reply with quote

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Death before dishonor
Posted by Aaron Rayburn (www.sparta24945@aol.com)
8 August 2007, 6:29 am

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=Aaron_Raybur0808070629571.html
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Slit Throat
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Joined: 01 Aug 2004
Posts: 25
Location: Somewhere in the wild expanses of Southern California

PostPosted: Sun Aug 12, 2007 7:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

wow. umm...yeah

First things first: GRAMMAR!! Spell check is there for a reason. "leutenit" just won't cut it.

Second: use the code. Please, I'm begging you.

Third: start each line of dialogue on a new line. It helps. A lot.

I understand that this is the first piece of the story, so I'll let any plot problems go but seriously; clean up the nuts and bolts.
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