HBO Fan Fiction Forum Index HBO Fan Fiction
Forum for HBO Fan Fiction Related Stuff
 
 FAQFAQ   SearchSearch   MemberlistMemberlist   UsergroupsUsergroups   RegisterRegister 
 ProfileProfile   Log in to check your private messagesLog in to check your private messages   Log inLog in 

Letters of A Corpsman: Battle of Hill 324 and Hill 642

 
Post new topic   Reply to topic    HBO Fan Fiction Forum Index -> Fan Fiction Comments
View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
hboff
Site Admin


Joined: 25 Jul 2004
Posts: 4355

PostPosted: Fri Jun 29, 2007 11:54 am    Post subject: Letters of A Corpsman: Battle of Hill 324 and Hill 642 Reply with quote

This topic is for posting comments to:

Letters of A Corpsman: Battle of Hill 324 and Hill 642
Posted by (ENS) Rabid_Gallagher (rabid_masterchief@hotmail.com)
23 June 2007, 7:23 pm

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=ENS_Rabid_Ga0623071923301.html
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
(ENS) Rabid_Gallagher
Member


Joined: 19 Oct 2004
Posts: 1218
Location: Always here to help

PostPosted: Fri Jun 29, 2007 3:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Okay, I need to ask y'all.

How do you use Indents again? Very Happy Been awhile since I needed to use them.

----

I wrote this in a style that is definitely a letter. Not very detailed, obvious mistakes, and it's the language. She purposely uses 'horrible' because she really doesn't know what else to use. It's my self-declared 'Gallagher Letter Style' Smile
_________________

"My appreciation for being quoted is being masked by my distaste for your incompetence, Gallagher" - Shrumertaor
Idea, Plot, Character, and Forum Signatures
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message AIM Address MSN Messenger
Phædrus
Member


Joined: 13 Sep 2004
Posts: 957
Location: Southern California

PostPosted: Fri Jun 29, 2007 4:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

[indent]This is indented. Wink

Review coming after lunch.

EDIT:

It was alright, but not excellent. I thought your word choice was bad in a few places - combo, for instance. Also, I don't think you caught the horror of battle as well as you could have. I, personally, would have mentioned the smell. Violent death stinks (smells like blood, salt, shit, urine, and bile).

Overall, though, it wasn't bad.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail AIM Address MSN Messenger
(ENS) Rabid_Gallagher
Member


Joined: 19 Oct 2004
Posts: 1218
Location: Always here to help

PostPosted: Fri Jun 29, 2007 10:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

[Shrug] I'll remember that, the smell and stuff.
_________________

"My appreciation for being quoted is being masked by my distaste for your incompetence, Gallagher" - Shrumertaor
Idea, Plot, Character, and Forum Signatures
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message AIM Address MSN Messenger
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic    HBO Fan Fiction Forum Index -> Fan Fiction Comments All times are GMT
Page 1 of 1

 
Jump to:  
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum


Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2005 phpBB Group