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Longsword Argh!
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hboff
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PostPosted: Fri Jun 15, 2007 12:53 pm    Post subject: Longsword Argh! Reply with quote

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Longsword Argh!
Posted by Sterfrye36 (Sterfrye36@yahoo.com)
14 June 2007, 6:27 am

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=Sterfrye360614070627461.html
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Zombie
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PostPosted: Fri Jun 15, 2007 6:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

sterfrye,

you had me laughing the entire way through. I especially enjoyed emo Marcus (Chopin's Funeral composition, the sobs, flippin hilarious), and the racist mexican (the end part when they started singing, on the floor laughing). and the way you summed it all up was priceless, although I rather enjoyed Requiem. at any rate, fantastic comedy piece, hope to read more. cheers.
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Sterfrye36
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PostPosted: Fri Jun 15, 2007 6:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Glad you enjoyed it, man. I was a little bit frustrated with how slowly the newest chapter was coming along, so I decided to poke some fun at myself in order to release some tension.


Oh, by the way, why do you only show up when I submit a story, eh? I never see you around here otherwise! Smile
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FFPotW Winner Total: 2 (Longsword R: Midway 8/8/08 ) (The Letter 11/14/08 )
"I...have...power issues." -Phae
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Halo Fanatic 2006
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PostPosted: Fri Jun 15, 2007 7:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

He likes you. Wink

And yes, althoguh I never read Longsword, (I never got round to it, too damn long Wink Laughing ) I did like this. Pretty funny, well done.

-HF06
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DraconicDreams
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PostPosted: Fri Jun 15, 2007 8:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Omg, I laughed my ever-lovin ass off. Makes me want to do one of these myself...lol...I love the whole "All the important characters are on this ship" being a total death-immunity. Lol.

And Sues... no matter what we do we make them sues... because we're writing fanfics. But having them talk about who's a Sue? Freaking classic.

10/10
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SYSTEM
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PostPosted: Sat Jun 16, 2007 7:42 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
Without a second thought, Sterfrye launched into the next mammoth paragraph, hell-bent on dragging every single detail of the girl into the story, mainly because he realized that he had no idea where the main plot of the story was going and had to fill space somehow.


Two words:
"Pure."
"Gold."

I fell for that same trap too with the earlier releases of TFMCBG and some of the early EG. Reading around it seems another distinguishing trait of MS characters are, you guessed it, being disproportionately and ideally described. Hit that nail on the head, man!

Two thumbs up! I liked the scene at the end, of course, what with Ster and Nick submitting - and reading, respectively.

- Dave.
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"Lizzie Borden took an axe and gave her mother forty whacks. When she saw what she had done, she gave her father forty-one." - A child's nursery rhyme.

"When in doubt, empty your magazine." - Murphy's first law of combat operations.
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Guardian
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PostPosted: Mon Jun 18, 2007 1:04 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh man so much material.

" "This is Halo, not Advance Wars, sir."
"Tell that to Sami." Eagle became indignant.
"You're a Robotech allusion. What the hell's next, Starfox? Ace Combat? You've got no right to be critical."" All five of them are good games.

Macross is F[_]CKING AWESOME!

""That whole thing made no damn sense whatsoever," he muttered as he clicked the back button on his browser…" 0wn3d.

I love you Sterfrye36. Just don't take it the wrong way.
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thedarkfire
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PostPosted: Mon Jun 18, 2007 5:23 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I always love when the fourth wall is broken, it just makes for ridiculous and self-deprecating behavior. Loved every second of it.
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Sterfrye36
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PostPosted: Mon Jun 18, 2007 5:54 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks for reading, guys. I really enjoyed writing this. I actually gigled in bed when I thought this concept up. Now I'm wondering if I can somehow make it into a series...

Oh, and Darky, good to see you again. Razz
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"I...have...power issues." -Phae
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Chuckles
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PostPosted: Mon Jun 18, 2007 6:30 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dang, that was funny--and for some reason I wasn't expecting it. Yeah, you'd think the title would've clued me in, but I came into this expecting the actual next chapter. But that seemed to make it even funnier.

Quote:
"Break port Swordsmen Leader!" came a yell across Major Marcus Easley's COM.
"Why, because you want me to die? You'd like that, wouldn't you? If I just keeled over and died you'd be happy," Marcus pouted.
"No, you moron, it's because you've got a blast of plasma headed right at you! That and my sole desire is to make you a convert and I can't do that if you're dead. Seriously, I have a terribly one-track mind. I must convert you. It's become my sole mission in life. Did I mention I'm an evangelical Christian?"

Beautiful.

Quote:
... the two pilots continued their nine-G flying without so much as a hint of blacking out.

If actors can pull it off then I guess it should be no problem for literary characters.

Quote:
"So even though I've got a strong belief in military protocol and I never appear past the chapter where James gets killed…I've got a ponytail? Who the hell am I, Ripley?"
And ...
Quote:
"Why don't you go fight something in your power loader?"

In regard to parody, no fruit hangs lower than the Alien sequels.

Quote:
"I'm telling you, he's racist!"
"He is not!"
"Is too!" Adam Martinez said angrily in his low bass voice, shaking his ever present bottle of liquor and arching his eyebrows.
"Is not!" retorted Anton Penny in his mellow baritone, also arching his eyebrows.
"Look," Martinez growled, "I'm Mexican. I was a smuggler before joining the UNSC. I'm always smashed and have a bottle of tequila. How is that not racist?"

Very Happy

Quote:
"I said, 'do you thank a flanking maneuver would work'. I'd like an answer."
"Sir, how the hell can we flank an enemy in open space? This is the 24th century, old cavalry and infantry tactics don't work here." Reeves rolled his eyes in annoyance.
"Well it's obvious: first, we move all of our ships around to the side. But before our turn's over, we use your Super CO Power to move again and we hit 'em from the rear." Eagle arched his eyebrows in disbelief just like every other character in the series does.

At least you're in good company. Let's see ... for reasons known only to George Lucas, when the rebels evacuated Hoth they ignored vast stretches of open space and flew directly into the imperial fleet. But luck was with those plucky rebels and, thanks to the dreaded ion cannon, the Emperor's best ships were not even able to give chase. And who can forget the Falcon's desperate single-planed escape from a gaggle of star destroyers. Thankfully he managed to get it right in the opening battle of Sith.

Quote:
Sweeping, gripping, compelling; action, horror, Marcus getting depressed again; the chapter had it all.

Agreed Wink

Your eyes-wide-open ability to poke fun at yourself made this hilarious. Now if you'd only added a dream sequence ...

C.T. Clown
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Sterfrye36
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PostPosted: Mon Jun 18, 2007 12:35 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Or a flashback. But hey, if I'm going to do a sequel, I had to start somewhere. Razz
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"I...have...power issues." -Phae
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Zombie
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PostPosted: Wed Jun 20, 2007 4:03 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sterfrye36 wrote:

Oh, by the way, why do you only show up when I submit a story, eh? I never see you around here otherwise! Smile


it's mostly pure coincidence, being in the military ain't easy. i've been reading you and arthur a lot lately, but i'm trying to get too more peeps. cheers, sorry to spam.
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Caleb the Jackal
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PostPosted: Thu Jun 21, 2007 5:34 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

hahahaha dude awesome! I'll leave a better comment tomorrow when i wake up Wink
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mplacki
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PostPosted: Wed Aug 15, 2007 5:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh. My. God.

That is, without a doubt, the funniest thing I have read in ages. Ages, I tell you. I had tears in that girl sequence from laughing so hard.

Some choice gold bits: the totally random ship names (Top Gun Reference and Synonym Function on Word), the gaping plothole with Marcus'.. erm.. confusion ("No one remembered until I brought it up", hahaha), the vague military manuevers pirated from random places... actually, the whole shebang. This is one for the ages, Ster. Laughing

Random silliness FTW!

EDIT: Yikes... my sig says I haven't updated my story in almost two years. You know, I have the whole thing in my head, I just can't manage to sit down and write the blasted thing... Sad
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Sterfrye36
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PostPosted: Wed Aug 15, 2007 9:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

mplacki wrote:
Oh. My. God.

That is, without a doubt, the funniest thing I have read in ages. Ages, I tell you. I had tears in that girl sequence from laughing so hard.

Some choice gold bits: the totally random ship names (Top Gun Reference and Synonym Function on Word), the gaping plothole with Marcus'.. erm.. confusion ("No one remembered until I brought it up", hahaha), the vague military manuevers pirated from random places... actually, the whole shebang. This is one for the ages, Ster. Laughing

Random silliness FTW!

EDIT: Yikes... my sig says I haven't updated my story in almost two years. You know, I have the whole thing in my head, I just can't manage to sit down and write the blasted thing... Sad


Wow, didn't expect another comment!

Glad to hear you enjoyed it. I love self deprecating, fourth wall breaking humor, so since this next chapter (which is already longer than Requiem, by the way) was coming along slowly I decided to write this to work out some frustration. Razz

And the ship names aren't totally random. The first one, for example, is noting that the Maverick is a clear reference to the Top Gun character of the same name. The synonym function on Word is actually how I come up with a majority of Covenant ship names. I write something plain like "Victorious Peace", then use the synonym function to select the most archaic/oblique term possible. Thus was Triumphant Serenity created. Razz

And yes, I only did know of the swinging gate maneuver because I watched Gettysburg on TNT.

Razz
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"I...have...power issues." -Phae
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