HBO Fan Fiction

hboff · Site Admin Joined: 25 Jul 2004 Posts: 4352

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Tricks? Part 2
Posted by zhenoob (angelex2@hotmail.com)
28 March 2007, 4:46 pm

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=zhenoob0328071646101.html

Digi7 · Member Joined: 22 Feb 2007 Posts: 22

That was funny!
Could you tell me where the screen that says "Halo" is on the Pillar of Autumn?

Azathoth · Posted: Fri Mar 30, 2007 9:38 pm Post subject:

Its the main bridge screen that Keyes is always looking at. Next to the sensor readout on the ring is something like 'construct:HALO', I forget the exact text.

Collins Okonkwo · Member Joined: 02 Mar 2007 Posts: 22

Good work again, but... i dont know, this one's not just as funny as the previous and you know how i was looking foward to it.

But anyhow, nice job.

i hope the next will be funnier
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Collins Okonkwo · Member Joined: 02 Mar 2007 Posts: 22

Good work again, but... i dont know, this one's not just as funny as the previous and you know how i was looking foward to it.

But anyhow, nice job.

i hope the next will be funnier
_________________
http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/results.asp?WRD=Invader+by+U%2E+Collins+Okonkwo

Collins Okonkwo · Member Joined: 02 Mar 2007 Posts: 22

Good work again, but... i dont know, this one's not just as funny as the previous and you know how i was looking foward to it.

But anyhow, nice job.

i hope the next will be funnier
_________________
http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/results.asp?WRD=Invader+by+U%2E+Collins+Okonkwo

Collins Okonkwo · Member Joined: 02 Mar 2007 Posts: 22

Good work again, but... i dont know, this one's not just as funny as the previous and you know how i was looking foward to it.

But anyhow, nice job.

i hope the next will be funnier
_________________
http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/results.asp?WRD=Invader+by+U%2E+Collins+Okonkwo

Spartan006 · Posted: Mon Apr 02, 2007 2:44 pm Post subject:

It's the dreaded quadruple post of death! Shocked

Overall it was decent, but you are improving. 6/10
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Azathoth · Posted: Mon Apr 02, 2007 3:09 pm Post subject:

Err...quadruple post? I think this qualifies for an POST-TACULAR!!!!!

bowog the grunt · Member Joined: 16 Jun 2006 Posts: 51 Location: the TARDIS

that was... interesting, but i must say the first WAS better.

Doppelsoldner · Member Joined: 06 Jan 2007 Posts: 9 Location: Singapore

hi its me zhenoob. sorry. its rather hard to write these kind of fanfics without making it sound noob. so sorry... im trying. Sad

Phædrus · Posted: Tue Apr 03, 2007 9:41 pm Post subject:

Eh, I didn't like it. I understand you're trying to make it a comedy, but it doesn't hold up well. There's not much substance to it. You also have a bad habit of telling instead of showing.

I'd try working on something different - something geared less towards comedy and more towards plot and character.

Collins Okonkwo · Member Joined: 02 Mar 2007 Posts: 22

OOPS! sorry people, didn't mean to quadrify anybody with a particular comment. there was just a little malfunction with my server thats all.
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Doppelsoldner · Member Joined: 06 Jan 2007 Posts: 9 Location: Singapore

ok then ill just write the normal story, kill kill bravado type ya? if thats what u guys want

Phædrus · Posted: Wed Apr 04, 2007 9:22 pm Post subject: