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hboff
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Joined: 25 Jul 2004
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Digi7
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Joined: 22 Feb 2007
Posts: 22
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 Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2007 10:03 pm Post subject: |
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I think you may have slipped up a bit with this one. Your writing wasn't as good as usual, but if you rewrote this, taking out some of the descriptions, and Truth moving backwards all the time, it would be good.
Your action was very well described, but I think even a Brute would kinda be out of battle if HIS ARM WAS HACKED OFF!
Anyway, it was okay. Maybe a 7/10  |
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Hank Williams
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Joined: 05 Mar 2007
Posts: 15
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| Posted: Sat Mar 17, 2007 3:51 am Post subject: |
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Yeah, I apologize for this one... I've been extremely busy, getting home from school at about like... 10:30 everday, writing this for about an hour then going to bed. I apologize, this was one... just frankly sucked.
And I thought that maybe the Brute would atleast try his hardest to bring down the Councilor, as the Brutes are known for incredible endurance.
I realize now, I screwed that one up too. But yeah, I'll make it up to you guys next time...
Sorry, again. |
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Digi7
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Joined: 22 Feb 2007
Posts: 22
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| Posted: Sat Mar 17, 2007 10:19 pm Post subject: |
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| What the hell? 10:30??? |
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Archangel_7
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Joined: 29 Mar 2005
Posts: 171
Location: Trying to fight the Flood with a rubber band and some thumbtacks
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| Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2007 1:36 am Post subject: |
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I guess some one's after a little extra credit.
A-heh-heh-heh 
_________________
When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.
--Hunter S. Thompson |
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Hank Williams
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Joined: 05 Mar 2007
Posts: 15
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| Posted: Sun Mar 18, 2007 6:37 am Post subject: |
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| Archangel_7 wrote: | I guess some one's after a little extra credit.
A-heh-heh-heh |
Well, at my Highschool we have this festival called "The One Act Festival" where the Senior Drama students direct One Acts (short plays with just one act) throughout the year, then we present them around this time, so that's what was going on this week. It's over now, luckily. But the show's started at 6:30 (call was 5:30) so I just wouldn't go home and just have dinner at a nearby restaurant and just stay at school. Shows ended around 8:30, then clean up went until about 10. Then it takes me half an hour to get home.
So, yeah. |
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Trindacut
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Joined: 10 Mar 2007
Posts: 3
Location: Melbourne, Australia
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| Posted: Thu Mar 22, 2007 11:21 pm Post subject: |
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I enjoyed the read, but I think you could have used a better reference to the main character than just Zan. Keep it up
P.S Zan was in the 49 times. |
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Hank Williams
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Joined: 05 Mar 2007
Posts: 15
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| Posted: Fri Mar 23, 2007 4:18 am Post subject: |
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Hey guys, again, sorry for this chapter, the next one is much better. But, it won't be out this Friday - sorry. I fell behind. It will be out next Friday.
Also - Zan is just his name  I've always kinda liked that name. And do you mean I should use his name less?
EDIT - on second thought, Iwill have the next one out tommorow. |
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RacqiaDvorak
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Joined: 04 Apr 2007
Posts: 10
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| Posted: Wed Apr 04, 2007 4:33 pm Post subject: |
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| Liked it. From reading this, I would say you've got a visually oriented mind. This would be an awesome action sequence in an movie. |
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