HBO Fan Fiction Forum Index HBO Fan Fiction
Forum for HBO Fan Fiction Related Stuff
 
 FAQFAQ   SearchSearch   MemberlistMemberlist   UsergroupsUsergroups   RegisterRegister 
 ProfileProfile   Log in to check your private messagesLog in to check your private messages   Log inLog in 

Zan 'Socromee

 
Post new topic   Reply to topic    HBO Fan Fiction Forum Index -> Fan Fiction Comments
View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
hboff
Site Admin


Joined: 25 Jul 2004
Posts: 4355

PostPosted: Fri Mar 16, 2007 1:05 pm    Post subject: Zan 'Socromee Reply with quote

This topic is for posting comments to:

Zan 'Socromee
Posted by Hank Williams (Hank_Williams)
16 March 2007, 3:32 am

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=Hank_William0316070332301.html
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Digi7
Member


Joined: 22 Feb 2007
Posts: 22

PostPosted: Fri Mar 16, 2007 10:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think you may have slipped up a bit with this one. Your writing wasn't as good as usual, but if you rewrote this, taking out some of the descriptions, and Truth moving backwards all the time, it would be good.
Your action was very well described, but I think even a Brute would kinda be out of battle if HIS ARM WAS HACKED OFF!
Anyway, it was okay. Maybe a 7/10 Smile
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Hank Williams
Member


Joined: 05 Mar 2007
Posts: 15

PostPosted: Sat Mar 17, 2007 3:51 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yeah, I apologize for this one... I've been extremely busy, getting home from school at about like... 10:30 everday, writing this for about an hour then going to bed. I apologize, this was one... just frankly sucked.

And I thought that maybe the Brute would atleast try his hardest to bring down the Councilor, as the Brutes are known for incredible endurance.

I realize now, I screwed that one up too. But yeah, I'll make it up to you guys next time...

Sorry, again.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Digi7
Member


Joined: 22 Feb 2007
Posts: 22

PostPosted: Sat Mar 17, 2007 10:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

What the hell? 10:30???
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Archangel_7
Member


Joined: 29 Mar 2005
Posts: 171
Location: Trying to fight the Flood with a rubber band and some thumbtacks

PostPosted: Sun Mar 18, 2007 1:36 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I guess some one's after a little extra credit.

A-heh-heh-heh Wink
_________________
When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

--Hunter S. Thompson
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
Hank Williams
Member


Joined: 05 Mar 2007
Posts: 15

PostPosted: Sun Mar 18, 2007 6:37 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Archangel_7 wrote:
I guess some one's after a little extra credit.

A-heh-heh-heh Wink


Well, at my Highschool we have this festival called "The One Act Festival" where the Senior Drama students direct One Acts (short plays with just one act) throughout the year, then we present them around this time, so that's what was going on this week. It's over now, luckily. But the show's started at 6:30 (call was 5:30) so I just wouldn't go home and just have dinner at a nearby restaurant and just stay at school. Shows ended around 8:30, then clean up went until about 10. Then it takes me half an hour to get home.

So, yeah.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Trindacut
Member


Joined: 10 Mar 2007
Posts: 3
Location: Melbourne, Australia

PostPosted: Thu Mar 22, 2007 11:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I enjoyed the read, but I think you could have used a better reference to the main character than just Zan. Keep it up

P.S Zan was in the 49 times.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message AIM Address MSN Messenger
Hank Williams
Member


Joined: 05 Mar 2007
Posts: 15

PostPosted: Fri Mar 23, 2007 4:18 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hey guys, again, sorry for this chapter, the next one is much better. But, it won't be out this Friday - sorry. I fell behind. It will be out next Friday.

Also - Zan is just his name Razz I've always kinda liked that name. And do you mean I should use his name less?

EDIT - on second thought, Iwill have the next one out tommorow.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
RacqiaDvorak
Member


Joined: 04 Apr 2007
Posts: 10

PostPosted: Wed Apr 04, 2007 4:33 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Liked it. From reading this, I would say you've got a visually oriented mind. This would be an awesome action sequence in an movie.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic    HBO Fan Fiction Forum Index -> Fan Fiction Comments All times are GMT
Page 1 of 1

 
Jump to:  
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum


Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2005 phpBB Group