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hboff Site Admin
Joined: 25 Jul 2004 Posts: 4377
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Spartan006 Member

Joined: 17 Mar 2006 Posts: 366 Location: On the worst internet ever...for real.
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Posted: Fri Jan 19, 2007 11:02 pm Post subject: |
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It was okay, but you need to learn how to use CODE. Also, when the speaker changes you need to start a new paragraph. Other than that it was pretty good. 7/10 _________________ Randomly invading your fanfiction since 2006. |
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Azathoth Member

Joined: 22 Nov 2005 Posts: 578 Location: South Africa. Fooken creatshas.
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Posted: Sat Jan 20, 2007 6:19 pm Post subject: |
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Also, your Spartan is a sergeant- a Marine rank. Spartans are navy. Your Spartan would most likely be a Petty Officer, more or less. |
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