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invasion series part 2-the end of book one

 
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hboff
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PostPosted: Fri Jan 12, 2007 5:51 pm    Post subject: invasion series part 2-the end of book one Reply with quote

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invasion series part 2-the end of book one
Posted by paul cooper (lcooper764@aol.com.)
10 January 2007, 1:41 pm

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=paul_cooper0110071341501.html
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Arawn
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Joined: 03 Dec 2006
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PostPosted: Sat Jan 13, 2007 5:01 am    Post subject: Do you read comments?! Reply with quote

"I read a sign that said the control room was ten minutes away"

I don't know about you, but I can't read the covenant language.

Do all of these:
Capital Letters
Sentence structure
Consistency
Continuity
Realism

Also, learn how to write in proper english (me and dane ..........-> Myself and Dane ...... [Actually it would be Dane and I.......]). Btw, what grade are you in?

[EDIT] I get the sense that your trying to write a long story, but don't really have the patience, right?
Another thing, isn't zuka zammame the name of the elite in Halo: the Flood? The one that is used throughout the book?
http://hboff.bungie.org/viewforum.php?f=9 <- go here
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Archangel_7
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Joined: 29 Mar 2005
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Location: Trying to fight the Flood with a rubber band and some thumbtacks

PostPosted: Sat Jan 13, 2007 9:15 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

First of all, capitalize. If you can't do this, then you need not bother submitting another story. This isn't a chat room, this isn't MySpace, and the lack of capitalization is not cute, trendy, or accepted at all. Fix that before you start anything else. Actually, scratch that, learn how to actually apply the rules of English before you start anything else.

Secondly, this can hardly be considered a novella. You have absolutely no right to call it a book. You don't have a publisher, you don't have an editor, and you don't have an actual copyright.

Have patience with each submission; I have the feeling that you're trying to hard to get a huge storyline down in a short amount of time. That won't cut it; it only makes everything seem rushed, clunky, unpolished, dull, and downright unreadable.

Third, how old are you? I get the sense that this is a juvenile attempt at writing...
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Halo Fanatic 2006
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Location: Azeroth, I can't find my way out!

PostPosted: Sat Jan 13, 2007 7:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Archangel_7 wrote:
Third, how old are you? I get the sense that this is a juvenile attempt at writing...
That's exacly what came into mind when I read this. However some children are gifted. Not everything written by young people is bad.

-HF06


Last edited by Halo Fanatic 2006 on Fri Jun 01, 2007 6:13 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Archangel_7
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Location: Trying to fight the Flood with a rubber band and some thumbtacks

PostPosted: Sun Jan 14, 2007 2:25 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I meant juvenile in the immature sense, as in "zomg a place wher i can writ storys abot HALO?!/1!?1?! ill tipe it in teH submission form!!!!1!11!1," not the 'young' sense.
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SeverianofUrth
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Joined: 09 Aug 2004
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Location: Dumb posts & crap stories

PostPosted: Sun Jan 14, 2007 7:25 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hey--I've typed stories in the submission form before. It ain't all too bad.
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me
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 14, 2007 7:51 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

SeverianofUrth wrote:
Hey--I've typed stories in the submission form before. It ain't all too bad.



*Guilty confession* Thats how I use to write...all of mine...
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The Meep
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Location: Auburn, Maine E-mail me if there are any nearby LANs

PostPosted: Wed Jan 17, 2007 1:16 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I never write in the sub form, not me, I'm glad to say. All of mine will take at least five hours to do, usually more like seven with the editing and coding... I always end up cramming at 11:59 PM Thursday night. Sometimes I just wait till the next week. BTW, that's what's going on with my current story (Stories of a Soundtrack -- Part 6) in case anyone was wondering.

Just my two cents, more like a couple of singles though...






O, that's where the submit button is....
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