HBO Fan Fiction

hboff · Site Admin Joined: 25 Jul 2004 Posts: 4375

This topic is for posting comments to:

Halo Alliances: Chapter Two
Posted by ChibiHalo (ssvaltinson@msn.com)
10 January 2007, 3:19 am

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=ChibiHalo0110070319421.html

Halo Fanatic 2006 · Posted: Sat Jan 13, 2007 7:18 pm Post subject:

sorry I didn't read the first story but this pretty good, I really liked it, keep it up. Oh, and watch those GPS mistakes.

-HF06

Revenant · Member Joined: 21 Dec 2006 Posts: 3 Location: texas

Quite good, besides the typos, and those are inevitable. One thing, though, is that your characters (humans in particular, but Covenant as well) seem rather listless and inattentive. I find it highly unlikely that a highly trained and experienced soldier such as MC would be so unnerved by the Flood that he would forget how many rounds are in his BR55.

Of course, the whole story seems quite implausible, so maybe that's okay. (Not that implausibility is a bad thing....) Keep up the good work!