HBO Fan Fiction

hboff · Site Admin Joined: 25 Jul 2004 Posts: 4351

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The Siege of Beta Centauri XVI (Part II, Chapter I: Jungle Showdown)
Posted by Insomnia (sjp0131@hotmail.com)
2 November 2004, 1:21 AM

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=insomnia.1102040121385.html

Syotica · Posted: Tue Nov 02, 2004 10:14 pm Post subject:

This is just the beggining of the ground-based action. Wink

MasterSushi · Posted: Wed Nov 03, 2004 7:05 pm Post subject:

*Spoiler Alert* (and a bit of swearing too. I'm sorry if your offended but I'm in shock.

What the FFUUUUUUCCCKKKKK!!!!!!!! (That's the language for now)

You might already know this but I haven't been here in ages. In OXM it says that the ATV and Arctic hog won't be in Halo 2. I can live with that but it says the Rocket launching 'Hog has been cut too?!?!?! But it's in the PC v of H1 and it was at E3. Is this true? IS IT TRUUUUEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!?????????!!!!!!!!

(Oh yeah and I'm trying to think up a storyline for another story. I've axed the old one. Just didn't feel it's river flowin' you know?)

Syotica · Posted: Wed Nov 03, 2004 7:59 pm Post subject:

Ummmmmm.....

That's not a storyline comment, but, do you know if the Shadow will be in it?

JCDentonCZ · Posted: Wed Nov 03, 2004 8:00 pm Post subject:

No Snow Hog? Maaaan It looked great with the cabine and stuff!

Okay, Insomnia, good story, kept me reading (Your fic is one of the few I read Razz

).

Only, since when does covenant use sheilds and fight soilders :p?

Just wanted to say, those few mistakes you make, while you probably are a American or Englishman of some sort, you shouldn't be making those...:p

For me its different, I am Dutch, and the most advanced english words are still unknown here... Sad

Good names on the weapons, and the referrance on the MAC Guns. Are they official names? Then I have to use them as well... Wink

Okay, gj this time. Keep it up.

JCDentonCZ
_________________
A million ideas..

Syotica · Posted: Wed Nov 03, 2004 11:43 pm Post subject:

A couple things. What I meant by shields was their personal shields integrated in their armor. The name I used for the Super MAC's was simply not a english name, it was made-up, purely for the covenant calling them that.

(Na)Marl · Posted: Thu Nov 04, 2004 5:40 am Post subject:

--This is Gold Elite.
--I'm pretty sure the Shadow will be in Halo 2. That's the Covanent Warthog, right? Well, I have a good source.

monitor101 · Member Joined: 10 Aug 2004 Posts: 107 Location: Burbank

Very good stroy 9/10. Man its good to back to HBO fanfiction[/quote]

Syotica · Posted: Thu Nov 04, 2004 8:17 pm Post subject:

Thanks. Yes, it is the covenant version of the hog

MC's Cousin · Mr. 1337 Joined: 30 Jul 2004 Posts: 2142 Location: Here.

I thought that things could have flowed a lot better. You use of detail was alright, but work on getting things to run smoothly together. Things just seemed a little... rough.
Watch your capitilization, too. Grunts should be capped.
Also, repedetiveness seemed to ail your story. As well as narrative. Things went by pretty quickly, and I just couldn't get into the story as I would have liked.

Overall, it was good, but still needs work. Keep practicing, and, if you do not already, get some people to proofread it.
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-MCC

Syotica · Posted: Fri Nov 05, 2004 8:18 pm Post subject:

Thanks, MCC. I will submit Chapter II: Ambush in the fields, tonight.

Mainevent · Posted: Sun Nov 07, 2004 10:05 pm Post subject:

Old Wu's forgotten about us in the Halo 2 frenzy. Can't blame him, I would too. It's only 1 day away!

So much for anyone reading my story in this next batch! : Razz

:

Syotica · Posted: Sun Nov 07, 2004 10:42 pm Post subject:

Are you going to comment on my story? Confused

MC's Cousin · Mr. 1337 Joined: 30 Jul 2004 Posts: 2142 Location: Here.

I'm gonna try to read some stories on the next update. But, there are going to be quite a few, and I don't know if I can get through them all. And since all of my free time is going to be consumed by hours of Halo 2, well, I'll be a little busy for a while.

Now, Insomnia, don't worry about it if people post OT stuff. If they are going to comment, they'll comment. Just don't worry about it. It's a waist of conscious thought.
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-MCC

MasterSushi

TO CELEBRATE THE RELEASE OF BONE-CRUNCHING, ARSE WHOPPIN' FUN (or Halo) 2, I DEEM THIS WEEK NATIONAL SUSHI WEEK!!!!!!!! FREE FOOD FOR ALL. (lucky Americans... Get it before us Brits...)

Your story's fine, don't worry about it, I look forward to the next! But in the meantime- DUAL NEEDLERS, BRUTES, MULTIPLAYER BANSHEES, COAGULATION, 15 SINGLE PLAYER LEVELS, BUMP MAPPING, DOLBY 5.1(I think), AND EARTH! AND MORE! LOTS LOTS MORE!!!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!HALO 2 HAS LANDED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Very Happy