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hboff
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Archangel_7
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Joined: 29 Mar 2005
Posts: 171
Location: Trying to fight the Flood with a rubber band and some thumbtacks
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 Posted: Sat Dec 30, 2006 1:40 am Post subject: |
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Author's Note:
This originally began as yet another rewrite of my former series To the Last Man, but after a HELL of a lot of revision, it simply became something entirely different. Hence, this. I started work on it on Monday, and since I wanted to have something finished by Thursday, I had to split the chapter into two parts, the first scene and the one following that. That's why this submission is so short (actually, even with me trying to fluff it up, it's still on the anemic side).
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When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.
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Archangel_7
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Joined: 29 Mar 2005
Posts: 171
Location: Trying to fight the Flood with a rubber band and some thumbtacks
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| Posted: Wed Jan 03, 2007 4:00 am Post subject: |
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It sure takes you guys a while to review a story that's NUMBER 3 ON THE PAGE 
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When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.
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Andres
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Joined: 03 Jan 2005
Posts: 151
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| Posted: Wed Jan 03, 2007 3:30 pm Post subject: |
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| It short, direct and well written. I like it, though I think it is NavSpecWar not NavSepWep, but I could be wrong. |
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Arthur Wellesley
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Joined: 30 Jun 2006
Posts: 306
Location: Canada
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| Posted: Tue Mar 20, 2007 7:12 pm Post subject: |
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I liked your most recent piece and heard about this one through your post. Without further ado...
Obviously not a huge amount to comment on. I enjoyed the flashback/dream introduction. It was well done and a slick way to introduce us to the main character; shows us he is an experienced soldier haunted by his past, all the while giving us subtle clues as to his backstory. Very nice.
The rest was pretty short and straight-forward. Again, very good, brief exposition handled in a slick manner. Without saying too much, you informed us of the two character's personalities as well as their relationship.
GPS wise it was immaculate. My only complaint was the inconsistent use of double spacing.
Good job. Looking forward to more.
- Arthur
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Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever. - Napoleon
Current Project: Vestal Flame. Current Word Count: 27,017
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