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invasion series chapters 4-24

 
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hboff
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Joined: 25 Jul 2004
Posts: 4356

PostPosted: Fri Dec 22, 2006 3:14 pm    Post subject: invasion series chapters 4-24 Reply with quote

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invasion series chapters 4-24
Posted by paul cooper (paul_cooper)
21 December 2006, 1:35 pm

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=paul_cooper1221061335511.html
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Arawn
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Joined: 03 Dec 2006
Posts: 5

PostPosted: Sat Dec 23, 2006 3:14 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

You need to work on capitalization, an pay atention to details. They would make the story a much better reading. Follow what people wrote for your first submission.
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Azathoth
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Joined: 22 Nov 2005
Posts: 578
Location: South Africa. Fooken creatshas.

PostPosted: Sat Dec 23, 2006 2:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Screw capitalization, man. He can put that on hold until he learns not to submit twenty chapters at a time.
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Skul
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Joined: 16 May 2005
Posts: 199
Location: UK, Scotland

PostPosted: Sat Dec 23, 2006 3:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

They're hardly big enough to be called chapters. They could all be put together as one story.

Speaking of which, it was very flat, undetailed and lacked the so-hard-to-use Code.

I'm not giving any help unless I know he's reading the comments.
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Fanfic Currently Working On: Finally continuing Inferno. Slow going. | XBox Live Account: SkulY2K
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