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Ghosts of Erebus: Prologue
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hboff
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PostPosted: Tue Nov 02, 2004 9:20 pm    Post subject: Ghosts of Erebus: Prologue Reply with quote

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Ghosts of Erebus: Prologue
Posted by Chuckles
30 October 2004, 7:55 AM

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=chuckles.1030040755301.html
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Jeremy
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PostPosted: Tue Nov 02, 2004 10:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Pretty interesting. Watch out for simple grammar and spelling mistakes.

It was a little confusing at times.

Oh and don't forget to [indent] your paragraphs.
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Chuckles
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PostPosted: Wed Nov 03, 2004 1:43 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yeah, I left a "the" out in a sentence and it made it very confusing. I go over my stories numerous times before posting, but I always find one or two I missed.

C.T. Clown
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Chuckles
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PostPosted: Wed Nov 03, 2004 1:48 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

For those wondering, this is the confusing sentence I mentioned. The word I left out is in brackets:

Quote:
That [the] entire division had been killed was readily apparent


Sorry about that.

C.T. Clown
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MC's Cousin
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PostPosted: Wed Nov 03, 2004 9:47 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hey, you can't catch everything.

You know, you always work some sort of clown into your stories. Reminds me it "It."

Anyway, the writing was good as usual. No major flaws, jsut the kind of stuff that you already pointed out.

Overall, nice. It went by a little fast, but, then again, it was a prologue, and so massive amounts of details were not needed. Keep up the good work.
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(Na)Marl
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PostPosted: Thu Nov 04, 2004 5:30 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

--This is Gold Elite. My dad deleted my e-mail adress before I could activate my account, so that sucks. I have to use my Halo multiplayer name, but oh well.
--Well, good job, again. It was great. It's 11:29 where I am, I'm tired, and could barely pay attention, but I did my best. Keep it up. Can't wait to read more.
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Helljumper
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PostPosted: Thu Nov 04, 2004 11:27 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

That was interesting. Good, i'll follow.
ODST
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Chuckles
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PostPosted: Fri Nov 05, 2004 8:10 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks guys.

MC, they aren't "Clowns" per se. Just an accidental nickname, as you will find out further into the story. The reason for the name was explained in Mission from SATU part 3: Clowns Can't Draw, but I don't assume anyone read that series, or remembers the explanation. Each story has to stand on its own.

C.T. Clown
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Solidus Snake
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PostPosted: Fri Nov 05, 2004 11:38 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm not too familar with your work but this is good. I think I'm gonna like this series. Keep it up!
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MC's Cousin
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PostPosted: Sat Nov 06, 2004 2:05 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Neither am I. Sadly, I didn't get into that series until the eigth or so chapter. I enjoyed it, but never had time to go back and read it. But yes, you are correct in that a series should explain its details in one way or another.

I was kinda joking about the clown thing though. Works for me. Hey, I think it adds a sort of special touch to your stories. But, whatever...
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Solidus Snake
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PostPosted: Sat Nov 06, 2004 2:16 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I want to see a story about blood thirsty insane clowns killing the Covenant. That would be wicked.
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Syotica
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PostPosted: Sat Nov 06, 2004 12:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Now that is good. Can't wait to see what happens next...

Oh, and Solidus, I don't think the Covenant are scared of Superstious things like Ghosts...
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Solidus Snake
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PostPosted: Sat Nov 06, 2004 6:27 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Insane clowns are ghosts.
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Syotica
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PostPosted: Sat Nov 06, 2004 7:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh.
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Solidus Snake
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PostPosted: Sun Nov 07, 2004 12:59 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Wait, don't say oh, I meant, insane clowns aren't ghost.
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