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Quarantine 0 -- Chapter 2: Research Team Alpha Nine

 
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hboff
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Joined: 25 Jul 2004
Posts: 4356

PostPosted: Fri Oct 13, 2006 3:51 pm    Post subject: Quarantine 0 -- Chapter 2: Research Team Alpha Nine Reply with quote

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Quarantine 0 -- Chapter 2: Research Team Alpha Nine
Posted by The Meep (HaloFanatic101@yahoo,com)
13 October 2006, 3:55 am

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=The_Meep1013060355571.html
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monitor101
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Joined: 10 Aug 2004
Posts: 107
Location: Burbank

PostPosted: Fri Oct 13, 2006 8:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Okay you guys jump from 1st person to 3rd person then to present tense. This jumping around of writing styles makes for one very unpleasant read.
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Azathoth
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Joined: 22 Nov 2005
Posts: 578
Location: South Africa. Fooken creatshas.

PostPosted: Fri Oct 13, 2006 11:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Really? I didn't notice much tense error.

Speaking of tense error, I just read the original Phantom of the Opera. Gaston Leroux must have been hell to edit. He had tense switching, random italics...zomg. Close digression.

Very good chapter, really. A couple of GPS errors, but they didn't detract from the flow in particular.
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Dr Sky Tower
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Joined: 10 Jun 2006
Posts: 120
Location: Auckland, New Zealand

PostPosted: Sun Oct 15, 2006 5:38 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quite a good story, actually.

Very well detailed, and I like how you've written your main characters.
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The Meep
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Joined: 24 Mar 2006
Posts: 79
Location: Auburn, Maine E-mail me if there are any nearby LANs

PostPosted: Mon Oct 16, 2006 7:01 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks for all the great support. Very Happy

Although this is the first time I'm going to write a full length series, I've written before. Most of it sucked: unedited, no code, sketchy plot, etc.

My next installment, "Chapter 3: Echo 121 Down", will probably come next week due to some computer problems. Then again, if i can fix this computer, it might be this Friday. Wish me luck!

~Meep~

P.S. Since I'm new to the whole "fan fic" thing, it would be nice to get some messages containing writing hints and tips.
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