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hboff Site Admin
Joined: 25 Jul 2004 Posts: 4351
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Azathoth Member

Joined: 22 Nov 2005 Posts: 578 Location: South Africa. Fooken creatshas.
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Posted: Fri Oct 13, 2006 7:13 pm Post subject: |
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| You don't need to censor your stories. Most if not all of the people on HBOFF are quite comfortable with marines and their...umm...descriptive manner of speech. Although the forums don't think so. |
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Dr Sky Tower Member

Joined: 10 Jun 2006 Posts: 120 Location: Auckland, New Zealand
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Posted: Sun Oct 15, 2006 3:22 am Post subject: |
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| Very interesting story, I like the format you've used (PoV journal style writing). Only one issue - try to paragraph the chapters. Don't make each one a single mass of text. |
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g money chuck Member

Joined: 19 Oct 2006 Posts: 19 Location: Warrenton Va. No pun intended.
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Posted: Thu Oct 19, 2006 9:01 pm Post subject: |
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Well, these guys pretty much summed up what I was thinking. However, why would a marine write this in the middle of a big battle?  |
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