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A Marine's Journal , chapter one: Invasion

 
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hboff
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Joined: 25 Jul 2004
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PostPosted: Fri Oct 13, 2006 3:50 pm    Post subject: A Marine's Journal , chapter one: Invasion Reply with quote
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A Marine's Journal , chapter one: Invasion
Posted by Jack Rawling
7 October 2006, 1:26 am

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=Jack_Rawling1007060126441.html
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Azathoth
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Joined: 22 Nov 2005
Posts: 578
Location: South Africa. Fooken creatshas.
PostPosted: Fri Oct 13, 2006 7:13 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
You don't need to censor your stories. Most if not all of the people on HBOFF are quite comfortable with marines and their...umm...descriptive manner of speech. Although the forums don't think so.
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Dr Sky Tower
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Joined: 10 Jun 2006
Posts: 120
Location: Auckland, New Zealand
PostPosted: Sun Oct 15, 2006 3:22 am    Post subject: Reply with quote
Very interesting story, I like the format you've used (PoV journal style writing). Only one issue - try to paragraph the chapters. Don't make each one a single mass of text.
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g money chuck
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Joined: 19 Oct 2006
Posts: 19
Location: Warrenton Va. No pun intended.
PostPosted: Thu Oct 19, 2006 9:01 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote
Well, these guys pretty much summed up what I was thinking. However, why would a marine write this in the middle of a big battle? Wink
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