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hboff
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Joined: 25 Jul 2004
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 Posted: Fri Oct 06, 2006 10:14 am Post subject: Quarantine 0 -- Prologue - Chapter 1: Night Assault |
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This topic is for posting comments to:
Quarantine 0 -- Prologue - Chapter 1: Night Assault
Posted by The Meep (HaloFanatic101@yahoo.com)
5 October 2006, 8:19 pm
http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=The_Meep1005062019131.html |
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Spartan006
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Joined: 17 Mar 2006
Posts: 366
Location: On the worst internet ever...for real.
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| Posted: Thu Oct 12, 2006 6:18 pm Post subject: |
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I thought it was pretty good. All the accented dialog made it hard to read in some spots, but it was bearable.How did you get that last o to look like that  ? 8/10
_________________
Randomly invading your fanfiction since 2006. |
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Azathoth
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Joined: 22 Nov 2005
Posts: 578
Location: South Africa. Fooken creatshas.
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| Posted: Thu Oct 12, 2006 7:41 pm Post subject: |
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Yeah, how did you get the accent over the 'o'? I have never seen that in all my experience with BBCode.
Anyway, you have a good story going, although I noticed a spate of tense errors around the middle section. Example:
| You wrote: | | The short woman next to Jundson was Corporal Glacia D. Hudson, a master of explosives, rockets, and anything else that goes boom in the night. Despite her extreme knowledge of unstable and explosive materials, she isn't exactly the sharpest tool in the shed. Also, Corporal Hudson had come very close to borderline cowardice several times in her past. Although dependable on her job, most who knew her wouldn't trust her with their life. |
At the start, we have 'was', then we switch to 'is' for a little bit, then back to 'had'. It's really disproportionately damaging to the flow of the story. Not to mention that it seems a bit odd for a bomb expert to show any signs of cowardice. But never mind that. Good story, anyway.
Keep writing. |
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The Meep
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Joined: 24 Mar 2006
Posts: 79
Location: Auburn, Maine E-mail me if there are any nearby LANs
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| Posted: Thu Oct 12, 2006 9:07 pm Post subject: |
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Hey, thanks for the positive comments.
And about the "ō", well I have my secrets...
My next post, "Chapter 2: Research Team Alpha Nine", will be out this friday if all goes well. |
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The Meep
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Posts: 79
Location: Auburn, Maine E-mail me if there are any nearby LANs
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| Posted: Thu Oct 12, 2006 9:14 pm Post subject: |
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| To modify my past post, you put in "ō" using: ō in double quotes ( "" ). |
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The Meep
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Joined: 24 Mar 2006
Posts: 79
Location: Auburn, Maine E-mail me if there are any nearby LANs
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| Posted: Thu Oct 12, 2006 9:17 pm Post subject: |
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My code is messing me up now. You have to put in "& # 3 3 3 ;" as one string. As long as they are together, it will make the symbol.
Sorry for the triple post and any confusion.
Also, a tantō is a kind of Japanese dagger that resembles a scaled down Samurai sword.
Last edited by The Meep on Fri Oct 13, 2006 2:22 am; edited 1 time in total |
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Syotica
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Joined: 26 Sep 2004
Posts: 579
Location: Northern Michigan
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| Posted: Thu Oct 12, 2006 10:47 pm Post subject: |
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Edit your post next time.
Nice job.  |
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