HBO Fan Fiction

hboff · Site Admin Joined: 25 Jul 2004 Posts: 4352

This topic is for posting comments to:

A Marine's Story
Posted by Seraph NZ (the_t3rm1n4t0r@hotmail.com)
1 October 2006, 9:36 pm

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=Seraph_NZ1001062136231.html

Dr Sky Tower · Posted: Sun Oct 08, 2006 12:46 am Post subject:

Good first person view type of writing going there. Also very nice descriptions.

However, you should try and split up the long paragraphs, especially when the tome is this long. You could also submit it in smaller chapters. It makes using the code a lot less time-consuming.

Johny117 · Member Joined: 22 Feb 2006 Posts: 118

Because it was so "LONG", you should not have submitted chapter one and two. But, it was fairly enjoyable, besides the fact that I lost my place many times due to lack of paragraphing.
_________________
Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
-Napoleon

Seraph NZ · Member Joined: 15 Oct 2006 Posts: 2 Location: New Zealand

Yes. I have fully edited the current chapters. I have completed two chapters after the last posted here. This was just a trial. I will be posting the story in FULL once it is completely finished, and trust me, it will be of greater quality than this 'trial'. Thank you.

~Seraph

Azathoth · Posted: Sun Oct 15, 2006 12:01 pm Post subject:

Yeah, this was a tad bit long, and yeah, the paragraphing was a bit iffy, but if you're going to be editing that, it shouldn't be a problem.

Seraph NZ · Member Joined: 15 Oct 2006 Posts: 2 Location: New Zealand

Yeah, once the story is complete, I will post it here in 'parts' consisting of two chapters each. The story so far is heavily edited. I have just done chapter six. There will be approximately ten to fifteen chapters in the story (I'm not sure yet). Thank you all for commenting.

~Seraph