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A Marine's Story

 
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hboff
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Joined: 25 Jul 2004
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PostPosted: Fri Oct 06, 2006 10:13 am    Post subject: A Marine's Story Reply with quote

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A Marine's Story
Posted by Seraph NZ (the_t3rm1n4t0r@hotmail.com)
1 October 2006, 9:36 pm

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=Seraph_NZ1001062136231.html
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Dr Sky Tower
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Joined: 10 Jun 2006
Posts: 120
Location: Auckland, New Zealand

PostPosted: Sun Oct 08, 2006 12:46 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Good first person view type of writing going there. Also very nice descriptions.

However, you should try and split up the long paragraphs, especially when the tome is this long. You could also submit it in smaller chapters. It makes using the code a lot less time-consuming.
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Johny117
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Joined: 22 Feb 2006
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PostPosted: Mon Oct 09, 2006 4:33 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Because it was so "LONG", you should not have submitted chapter one and two. But, it was fairly enjoyable, besides the fact that I lost my place many times due to lack of paragraphing.
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Seraph NZ
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Joined: 15 Oct 2006
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Location: New Zealand

PostPosted: Sun Oct 15, 2006 5:14 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yes. I have fully edited the current chapters. I have completed two chapters after the last posted here. This was just a trial. I will be posting the story in FULL once it is completely finished, and trust me, it will be of greater quality than this 'trial'. Thank you.

~Seraph
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Azathoth
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Joined: 22 Nov 2005
Posts: 578
Location: South Africa. Fooken creatshas.

PostPosted: Sun Oct 15, 2006 12:01 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yeah, this was a tad bit long, and yeah, the paragraphing was a bit iffy, but if you're going to be editing that, it shouldn't be a problem.
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Seraph NZ
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Joined: 15 Oct 2006
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Location: New Zealand

PostPosted: Fri Oct 20, 2006 7:45 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yeah, once the story is complete, I will post it here in 'parts' consisting of two chapters each. The story so far is heavily edited. I have just done chapter six. There will be approximately ten to fifteen chapters in the story (I'm not sure yet). Thank you all for commenting.

~Seraph
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