HBO Fan Fiction

hboff · Site Admin Joined: 25 Jul 2004 Posts: 4351

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Whispers of the Fallen: Chapter 2- He's got You and Me, Brother, In His Hands
Posted by Pwnocchio (envydryisland@aol.com)
23 September 2006, 3:55 am

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=Pwnocchio0923060355461.html

Matthiasthe14th · Posted: Sun Oct 01, 2006 4:47 am Post subject:

Not bad, not bad, but "Spartan" is always "SPARTAN", and "Oni" is always--always "ONI".

I liked how you tied in the dream with the talk between God and Satan in the book of Job, although I'd wouldn't have thought of Cortana representing the devil.

One more thing. I don't quite think that John would be so openly hostile to Johnson, since they're all okay with one another at any other documented time... Wink

Good job, though. I'm waiting for the next one. Very Happy

Pwnocchio · Member Joined: 19 Sep 2006 Posts: 10 Location: Houston, TX

Thanks for the comments! Glad you caught the Job reference Wink

Several people have read this on another forum, and I don't believe anyone's caught it, yet. Good stuff.

Thanks for the SPARTAN and ONI info though- I'll fix that in upcoming chapters.

As to the "openly hostile" thing- remember, 3 months have gone by- these two men have gone through very different journeys, causing things like trust, etc, to be frayed. In later chapters, we will start to see just what has driven them to this point, and I think it will make more sense. They've both been through a heck of a lot Smile

Appreciate the feedback!

CoLd BlooDed · Posted: Sun Oct 01, 2006 11:52 pm Post subject:

Oni is ONI, Spartan is Spartan. Unless you're referring to SPARTAN as a program.

Matthiasthe14th · Posted: Mon Oct 02, 2006 1:46 am Post subject:

thedarkfire · Posted: Thu Oct 05, 2006 4:59 am Post subject:

Well this was quite interesting. Yes, I believe you DO have a future here. Keeo writing son.