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Guerilla: Just Another Tree Hugger

 
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hboff
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PostPosted: Thu Oct 28, 2004 2:29 pm    Post subject: Guerilla: Just Another Tree Hugger Reply with quote

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Guerilla: Just Another Tree Hugger
Posted by Mainevent (mainevent117@gmail.com)
24 October 2004, 10:11 PM

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=mainevent.1024042211432.html
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Pajari
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PostPosted: Thu Oct 28, 2004 9:59 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Pretty good. I had no problems with it. The action was well-paced and intelligent, and the description was perfect. Overall this is a story to be proud of. I look forward to it's continuation.
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MC's Cousin
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PostPosted: Fri Oct 29, 2004 6:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I noticed a couple of grammar mistakes in there; a place or two lacked proper punctuation. Come now, Main, that's sloppy; I know you can do better!
Dooku wrote:
"Master Kenobi, you dissapoint me. Master Yoda always spoke so highly of you. Surely you can do better!"

Also, I thought that your Grunt speak coule have been a little more... Grunt-like. It said "sir" which I think is not in the Covenant vocabulary.

Overall, I agree that this was very well written. I thought that the switch from the inside of the ship to John was a little repedetive, but it worked. Indeed, I will also be waiting for the next bit of this. But first, let me say this: you are one of the few (and should be proud) to write the personalities of the Chief and Cortana within very good bounds. N00bs, take notice and start taking notes; all of you could use a lesson.
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Mainevent
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PostPosted: Fri Oct 29, 2004 8:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks Pajari and MCC. It means a lot.

I've been kinda rushed lately. My school work just keeps piling and piling up. This one was sloppier than normal, but I'm going to write a sequel this weekend. And, since I finally managed to get all of it done, I can proofread. (This was proofread when I actually read it on the site.)

And I'll work on those Covenant personalities a little better. But this time I did make them a little less religiously zealous for a reason. If you read Mr. Sandman the Covenant Elites there are extremely religious.

As for the next part...I hope you guys like wacky space battles.
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JCDentonCZ
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PostPosted: Sat Oct 30, 2004 12:09 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

After observing the whole community for surely three years, keeping a eye about every day on the whole fanfiction..."Industry", Mainevent takes all his knowledge into a story of his own.

Its two 0' clock here, no time reading at the moment.

But I will check them out as you did with the MCconto Chronicles of mine in 2003... beware...Razz

Later, Main. Wink
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Mainevent
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PostPosted: Sat Oct 30, 2004 12:45 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

You scare me JC...you scare me good.
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Nick Kang
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PostPosted: Sat Oct 30, 2004 1:47 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Big explosions are gooooooooood...*twitch*


Yeah, it wasn't as up-to-date grammar wise as some of your other stories I read, but it was still very good, but somewhat rough when he sent the Ghost into the ship, and again when he got into the Banshee.
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Solidus Snake
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PostPosted: Sat Oct 30, 2004 2:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Nice story, Main. Keep up this grade of work. And yeah, school messes with my writing too so I end up writing some very quick wierd shit about Grunts, lol. Good luck man!
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Guardian
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PostPosted: Sun Oct 31, 2004 2:16 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Never had any problems reading your stories, no mistakes i saw, and that it was always BADASS!
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FuManChu
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PostPosted: Sun Oct 31, 2004 2:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I thought it was good. Nice job.
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SYSTEM
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PostPosted: Sun Oct 31, 2004 5:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

ohooooo....

Very very good.... I'm lovin' it (not Macdonalds).

- Dave.
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Mainevent
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PostPosted: Sun Oct 31, 2004 11:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks guys. My weekend has been busier than expected, and as such I haven't been able to write much. But expect something in probably the update after next.
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Syotica
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PostPosted: Tue Nov 02, 2004 12:22 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

That is pretty good, nice detail, grammar... You name it!

~Insomnia & 'Ala 'Omnamamee
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Grunt-Boy
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PostPosted: Tue Nov 02, 2004 8:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Shayap... pretty funny. Yayap.


Good story. I liked the action. The drama. The suspense. Well...maybe not the last two cause I forgot what I just read.
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HoZ
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PostPosted: Thu Nov 04, 2004 10:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

FREAKIN awasome, and i feel your pain with the school work thing, just keep it up and enjoy the praises,

ROCK ON
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