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hboff Site Admin
Joined: 25 Jul 2004 Posts: 4377
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Hardballer Member

Joined: 07 Sep 2006 Posts: 24 Location: All over your ass
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Posted: Sun Sep 24, 2006 4:08 am Post subject: |
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Cool story, pretty well written, but how did they all get equiped with energy shields from one dead Elite...?  |
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Agent 001/7 Member

Joined: 24 Sep 2006 Posts: 5 Location: An alley by a deli market.
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Posted: Sun Sep 24, 2006 5:20 am Post subject: |
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Of that, I'm not sure. I would have had no shields, but then I would have to give us a chance at wounding/death, or give the Covies bad aim. Neither seemed right. FYI, this was based off of my old neighborhood, before I moved. |
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Imaftau1 Member
Joined: 24 Sep 2006 Posts: 2
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Posted: Sun Sep 24, 2006 6:06 am Post subject: |
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I liked it when I read it I kep thinking of the jackal shields not like an elite sheild.. but it was still good. |
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Agent 001/7 Member

Joined: 24 Sep 2006 Posts: 5 Location: An alley by a deli market.
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Posted: Sun Sep 24, 2006 6:39 am Post subject: |
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Thanks. I worked hard. I had the idea for two years, but I never found the time to let go of my controller to write it... lol |
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Hardballer Member

Joined: 07 Sep 2006 Posts: 24 Location: All over your ass
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Posted: Tue Sep 26, 2006 2:08 am Post subject: |
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Heh, halo junkie.  |
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Matthiasthe14th Member

Joined: 25 Dec 2005 Posts: 126 Location: Je m'en fiche.
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Posted: Tue Sep 26, 2006 5:01 am Post subject: |
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This was cool. The whole "Costco" thing allowed me to sink into the Soft Couch of Relevance and Familiarity (SoCRaF). |
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Agent 001/7 Member

Joined: 24 Sep 2006 Posts: 5 Location: An alley by a deli market.
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Posted: Wed Sep 27, 2006 12:16 am Post subject: |
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Ok... ROFL And wouldn't it be SCoRaF instead of SoCRaF? |
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Matthiasthe14th Member

Joined: 25 Dec 2005 Posts: 126 Location: Je m'en fiche.
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Posted: Wed Sep 27, 2006 12:27 am Post subject: |
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You could do that, too. There's an "o" in both "soft" and "couch", so yeah.
But perhaps SCoRaF is more phonetically agreeable... |
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Agent 001/7 Member

Joined: 24 Sep 2006 Posts: 5 Location: An alley by a deli market.
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Posted: Wed Sep 27, 2006 4:20 am Post subject: |
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Yeah.. Whatever. It's still a really good story. I might consider a sequal... hehe... |
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Matthiasthe14th Member

Joined: 25 Dec 2005 Posts: 126 Location: Je m'en fiche.
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Posted: Wed Sep 27, 2006 10:26 pm Post subject: |
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A sequel, eh? Yeah, I could see that.
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Johny117 Member

Joined: 22 Feb 2006 Posts: 118
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Posted: Fri Oct 06, 2006 5:38 am Post subject: |
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That was...a strange twist . Okay for a first Fic.
There were no indents with at all, and much more paragraphing was needed. Also, I highy doubt Frank could have killed a Gold Elite with an air soft-gun; the pellet would have deflected off its' shields .
Anywho, humorous to say the least. Try to have a much more constructive Fic next time . Check out some other experienced writers around HBO. Ya might learn a thing or two. _________________ Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
-Napoleon |
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Agent 001/7 Member

Joined: 24 Sep 2006 Posts: 5 Location: An alley by a deli market.
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Posted: Thu Nov 09, 2006 3:26 am Post subject: |
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Well, I figured they didn't think our tech was that great back in this time, so his shields were down, Frank shot in his eyes, grabbed the dropped Carbine, and nailed him. (BTW, I am Frank in the story. Why else would I have mentioned him/me so much in the story?) |
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