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Legacy: The Conclusion to the 500,000 Year-Old Saga of Guns

 
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hboff
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PostPosted: Fri Sep 15, 2006 2:44 pm    Post subject: Legacy: The Conclusion to the 500,000 Year-Old Saga of Guns Reply with quote

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Legacy: The Conclusion to the 500,000 Year-Old Saga of Guns & Lightsabers
Posted by SeverianofUrth
14 September 2006, 3:22 pm

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=SeverianofUr0914061522211.html
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Commander Demitri Wolf
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PostPosted: Fri Sep 15, 2006 11:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, I've been following this, and I hope that when you say conclusion you don't mean the whole thing is over, cause you've set yourself up a rather nice little story to continue here. I really did like the connections to Star Wars in there and how well it was done; the mention of Revan was enough to further intrique me, especially seeing as though he should be dead...

Or maybe I'm wrong, but I wasn't aware that anyone from KOTOR - even Revan - survived into the dawn of the Galactic Empire (it was four thousand years between them wasn't it?).

Oh well, congratulations on a really enjoyable series.
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Cassus Falco
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PostPosted: Fri Sep 15, 2006 11:44 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hey, man, and James. Pretty good, for a cross over, but with a few plot holes on the Star Wars side of things; in the first section is that blue lightsabre Yoda's?

I'm one hundred and ten percent positive that Yoda's weapon was as green as (as the Revenge of the Sith novelisation said) 'green as sunlight in a forest glade'

Ha ha, I guess I shouldn't really be talking about minor plot holes like that, when there is a yawning plot chasm behind me. But I won't get into that.

Anyways, thanks for a good read
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Hardballer
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PostPosted: Sat Sep 16, 2006 1:21 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

That damned Cortana is still alive?

Very clever... I would never have even contemplated mixing Starwars and Halo, but there you have it.

I'll get right on to reading the rest of it.
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bowog the grunt
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PostPosted: Sun Sep 17, 2006 3:13 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

that was sad, strangly i almost cried. the last sentece was so bland though!
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Azathoth
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PostPosted: Sun Sep 17, 2006 7:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I wouldn't say bland. It's a nice constrast to the frenetic pace of the story, and it gives a certain amount of humor value to say that there's a set of MJOLNIR armor floating around Star Wars on the black market.
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SeverianofUrth
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PostPosted: Mon Sep 18, 2006 3:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
Or maybe I'm wrong, but I wasn't aware that anyone from KOTOR - even Revan - survived into the dawn of the Galactic Empire (it was four thousand years between them wasn't it?).


I was thinking about expanding the story out to a point where John and Cortana literally expand out beyond the galaxy, like what Revan did in KOTOR. And there, interesting things would have been mentioned about the outcome of the Humna-Covenant war, and they would have met some surprising people. And as for Revan's age, his physical form wouldn't have survived.

Quote:
Hey, man, and James. Pretty good, for a cross over, but with a few plot holes on the Star Wars side of things; in the first section is that blue lightsabre Yoda's?

I'm one hundred and ten percent positive that Yoda's weapon was as green as (as the Revenge of the Sith novelisation said) 'green as sunlight in a forest glade'


Since the color of someone's lightsaber seems to change based on their temperament, I thought it would make more sense to make Yoda's saber blue at this point in the story. I thought of it as blue-green-red, in terms of 100% Light-Middle-Dark Side. Yoda in the movies already seems to have gained an understanding of how stuff works, like zen, almost. Yoda, in the story here, however, hasn't quite reached that point. So he has a blue one.

As for plot holes... I'm thinking about making an appendix of sorts, just to sort those out (because, in my mind, there are no plot holes(but then, I'm sure that's what we all think)).

Quote:
That damned Cortana is still alive?


Yeah. There's a good reason, too.

Quote:
that was sad, strangly i almost cried. the last sentece was so bland though!


Thanks, man. I'm glad I was able to wring some tears out of you.

Quote:
I wouldn't say bland. It's a nice constrast to the frenetic pace of the story, and it gives a certain amount of humor value to say that there's a set of MJOLNIR armor floating around Star Wars on the black market.


...And you took the words right out of my mouth.

And again, thanks, everyone. This is the first series I ever finished! [/quote]
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Radont
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PostPosted: Tue Sep 19, 2006 7:26 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:

He had always been better at her


I think that line should have read 'better than her'.

I really liked the dialog between Palpatine and his apprentice, it was very well done, I could almost hear his raspy voice speaking.

I thought the last sentence was great, except I don't know enough about star wars to know who that certain billionaire is.
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thedarkfire
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PostPosted: Tue Sep 19, 2006 2:12 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, keep writing.

The death of John. It almost felt so...anti climatic. Like he was supposed to go down fighting instead of standing.

Well I guess that's life.
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Matthiasthe14th
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PostPosted: Thu Sep 21, 2006 7:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

That was an interesting twist to the end, there. Took me totally by surprise. Anyway, I really liked this series. Very Happy
It's cool how you framed the time periods and all. The UNSC securing the galaxy for human superiority... I like that, too.

10/10
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Arthur Wellesley
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PostPosted: Sun Sep 24, 2006 11:59 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Another fantastic piece of work, Sev. This was, as I've come to expect, riddled with the clever and nuanced touches you've proven youself adept at devising and implementing. I liked the bit where the Twi'lek is shot, and on the other side of the door an unnamed guard detects a faint burning odor. It all serves to set the atmosphere up very well and makes for a thoroughly entertaining read.

There was some really colorful language here, too. I also found myself moved by the Master Chief's death. First by Yoda's discovery and then by the MC's own recollections of his life. Interestingly, the tone wasn't overtly mournful; you didn't seem to try too hard to elicit sadness. It was perhaps this which added to its success.

I loved how Cortana and the Chief end up together in a bizarre AI netherworld. A fitting ending, somehow, to the Chief. Nice dialogue between these two, as well. Equally fitting.

Lastly, points for originality. A Star Wars and Halo amalgam is not the easiest thing to pull off, and you did it very well. I like the idea of Cortana making a digital copy of him as well.

I didn't find any real errors, and I have no general complaints. Great work.

- Arthur
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Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever. - Napoleon
Current Project: Vestal Flame. Current Word Count: 27,017
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