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Pharaoh, Part One

 
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hboff
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PostPosted: Fri Sep 01, 2006 3:38 pm    Post subject: Pharaoh, Part One Reply with quote

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Pharaoh, Part One
Posted by OpeningAct (krazyhorse391@hotmail.co.uk)
31 August 2006, 4:10 pm

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=OpeningAct0831061610551.html
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OpeningAct
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Joined: 30 Jul 2004
Posts: 58
Location: In my super-fantastic time machine

PostPosted: Fri Sep 01, 2006 4:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi guys, yep I'm back and writing again.

It's been over 18 months since I last wrote on this site and it feels good to be writing about Halo again. This series was originally planned quite a while ago, with an overcomplicated plot, but now it's been dumbed down slightly. I've always wanted to write a fic from Fred's POV as he's my favorite Spartan.

Hope you guys enjoy it. Very Happy
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(ENS) Rabid_Gallagher
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PostPosted: Fri Sep 01, 2006 4:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I did. It's good to see you writing stories again, brings the warm fuzzies back to my heart.

You left me wanting to read more, the ending was a good one but I felt it could of been written a little better if you just bled it out with a bit more drama. Other than that, I found most of it very enjoyable.
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SeverianofUrth
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Joined: 09 Aug 2004
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Location: Dumb posts & crap stories

PostPosted: Fri Sep 01, 2006 6:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

What drama? This chapter didn't need any more drama. Intriguing, action-packed, and very well written. It seems like you haven't gotten rusty one bit in the year or so you spent hibernating. Damn good job--and the contrast between Norazomee and Fred was set up very well, too, and nicely heralded the rivalry to come.
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OpeningAct
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PostPosted: Fri Sep 01, 2006 10:33 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Cheers for the feedback guys, glad you liked it.
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Captain Tyrone
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Joined: 31 Aug 2006
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PostPosted: Fri Sep 01, 2006 11:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yeah I would just like to say that the story was awesome. I'm kind of a noob in the Halo fiction thing, but even I could tell it was good. Good work and I hope to a sequel.
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Spartan006
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PostPosted: Sat Sep 02, 2006 2:01 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Good job, OA. I'm half-way through and it's very good. I'll try to finish it later.
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Last edited by Spartan006 on Mon Sep 04, 2006 3:12 am; edited 1 time in total
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Azrael
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PostPosted: Sat Sep 02, 2006 2:46 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Excellent first chapter. I dont know much about each Spartan's personality, but if Fred could incapacitate the Jackals like that, why wouldn't he just have killed them himself with the Marines as a fail-safe?

...But quite frankly, if that's my only beef (and it is), it means you've got a very good story on your hands. Keep rockin'.
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OpeningAct
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PostPosted: Sat Sep 02, 2006 10:23 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'll be honest with you Az, the only real reason i didn't just have Fred tear through the Jackels was because I just thought it would cool for him to do what he did.

I guess it's sort of way of showing how lethal and fast Spartans are, especially in combat.

Still if that's the only thing I must be doing something right. Laughing
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Guardian
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PostPosted: Sat Sep 02, 2006 10:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Been so long since you posted anything, the chapter was thoroughly interesting.

Overtime a lot of people improve and the rest just down right suck.

Kudos for improving.

And your chapter seemed even more interesting when reading it during listening to Melodic Hard Trance. heh.
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Spartan006
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PostPosted: Mon Sep 04, 2006 3:11 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I just finished reading it, and I have to say that you did a superb job. I can tell that this is going to be a good series. 10/10
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Azathoth
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Joined: 22 Nov 2005
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Location: South Africa. Fooken creatshas.

PostPosted: Mon Sep 04, 2006 12:33 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I wish I could write like this...

Amazing. I will obsessively follow this series, I think.
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