HBO Fan Fiction Forum Index HBO Fan Fiction
Forum for HBO Fan Fiction Related Stuff
 
 FAQFAQ   SearchSearch   MemberlistMemberlist   UsergroupsUsergroups   RegisterRegister 
 ProfileProfile   Log in to check your private messagesLog in to check your private messages   Log inLog in 

Station 3: Part III

 
Post new topic   Reply to topic    HBO Fan Fiction Forum Index -> Fan Fiction Comments
View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
hboff
Site Admin


Joined: 25 Jul 2004
Posts: 4356

PostPosted: Fri Sep 01, 2006 3:38 pm    Post subject: Station 3: Part III Reply with quote

This topic is for posting comments to:

Station 3: Part III
Posted by Grantix
30 August 2006, 6:52 pm

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=Grantix0830061852291.html
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Dr Sky Tower
Member


Joined: 10 Jun 2006
Posts: 120
Location: Auckland, New Zealand

PostPosted: Sat Sep 02, 2006 12:31 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Not too bad, although you could work on your code a bit.

Quote:
"AAHHHH they're here!!! They're here!" Drake was shouting. He was running down the hall, and stopped at Jack's post again.


You could say 'Drake shouted' and 'He ran down the hall'. Try to remove at least one 'was'. Just makes the paragraph flow more smoothly.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
grantix
Member


Joined: 10 Nov 2005
Posts: 12

PostPosted: Sat Sep 02, 2006 6:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

So do you like the story so far? I understand your faults with my code, I just recently figured out how to fix that and will do so with the rest of my submissions.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Syotica
Moderator


Joined: 26 Sep 2004
Posts: 579
Location: Upper Peninsula, Michigan

PostPosted: Sat Sep 02, 2006 7:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Everything you need to know about the code. Also, type out numbers. For example, instead of 1, say one. It looks alot more clean and proficient.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message MSN Messenger
grantix
Member


Joined: 10 Nov 2005
Posts: 12

PostPosted: Fri Sep 08, 2006 12:45 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sorry, I wont be making a new submission this week, I've been focusing my attention to a FanFic for the UNSCDF FanFiction contest. Hope you guys stay tuned for the update next week.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic    HBO Fan Fiction Forum Index -> Fan Fiction Comments All times are GMT
Page 1 of 1

 
Jump to:  
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum


Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2005 phpBB Group