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The Stronghold

 
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hboff
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Joined: 25 Jul 2004
Posts: 4355

PostPosted: Fri Aug 25, 2006 3:05 pm    Post subject: The Stronghold Reply with quote

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The Stronghold
Posted by Grantix (eightypercentblinding@yahoo.com)
23 August 2006, 11:50 pm

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=Grantix0823062350111.html
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Dr Sky Tower
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Joined: 10 Jun 2006
Posts: 120
Location: Auckland, New Zealand

PostPosted: Sat Aug 26, 2006 1:26 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

You need to use the code rather than just left indenting the whole story, it looks and reads a lot better.

Otherwise, not bad!
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Spartan006
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Joined: 17 Mar 2006
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Location: On the worst internet ever...for real.

PostPosted: Sat Aug 26, 2006 2:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

That was excellent except for one thing, there was no use of indention or block paragraphing. If you would have done that I would have no complaints about it, besides the fact that it's not a series. You did a very good job of portraying your characters. You want people to care about your characters, and you've made me care. You should write a series. I'll be looking forward to some more stories from you Wink . 8/10
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Last edited by Spartan006 on Wed Aug 30, 2006 1:05 am; edited 1 time in total
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Syotica
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Joined: 26 Sep 2004
Posts: 578
Location: Upper Peninsula, Michigan

PostPosted: Sat Aug 26, 2006 3:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Space your lines out and indent.
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