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Halo: Arc of the Covenant (Revised)

 
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hboff
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Joined: 25 Jul 2004
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PostPosted: Fri Aug 11, 2006 10:02 am    Post subject: Halo: Arc of the Covenant (Revised) Reply with quote

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Halo: Arc of the Covenant (Revised)
Posted by Aleks Gingras (haloaleks@hotmail.com)
6 August 2006, 8:11 pm

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=Aleks_Gingra0806062011151.html
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Dr Sky Tower
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Joined: 10 Jun 2006
Posts: 120
Location: Auckland, New Zealand

PostPosted: Mon Aug 14, 2006 10:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The lack of code definitely shows with this story. There are enormous long paragraphs with no airspace whatsoever making this a difficult read, which made me more or less skim over a lot of the action scenes.

You need to space everything out with code so it flows, and perhaps submit it in smaller parts so it's easier to read. And try indenting after character dialogue, or just push return after each dialogue line (like what some authors on here do).
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Azathoth
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Joined: 22 Nov 2005
Posts: 578
Location: South Africa. Fooken creatshas.

PostPosted: Tue Aug 15, 2006 1:22 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I don't think it was necessary to resubmit this...no matter how much cc we offer on HBOFF, we don't generally ask you to resubmit your story. Still, this was better than the first version. Ish.

It was still, to an extent, a TWoPaHCT, the length, the GPS errors, all are fundamental problems with the story. In addition, don't put multiple chapters in one submission in future. I suggest submitting it serialy, chapter by chapter, if you actually want to divide it into section. Just a thought.
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