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Titans (Part 2)

 
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hboff
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Joined: 25 Jul 2004
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PostPosted: Sat Oct 23, 2004 11:48 pm    Post subject: Titans (Part 2) Reply with quote

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Titans (Part 2)
Posted by Mr Bill Jr V
21 October 2004, 3:57 PM

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=mr_bill_jr_v.1021041557102.html
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MC's Cousin
Mr. 1337


Joined: 30 Jul 2004
Posts: 2142
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PostPosted: Mon Oct 25, 2004 8:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Not quite as... poetic and serene as your last. But the writing quality still maintained the calm, desriptive tones.
It could have flowed better in a couple places, and I noted a couple of grammar erros in there; but nothing major. Not compared to the whole.

A few things I questioned, like bits of the tech, but I understood them enough not to worry about it.

Overall, another wonderful section of this story. It's not perfect, but it is pretty danmed good. Keep up the good work.
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mr bill
is a step away from a ban.


Joined: 01 Aug 2004
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PostPosted: Tue Oct 26, 2004 1:25 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

For the record- this is one story.

It was written at the same time, but I was forced to break it up into 4 parts due to the limitations of the website (files can't exceed 30k- which Titans does by quite a bit). The points chosen to break up have nothing to due with the events of the story, but are mereley the most conveint locations.

I recommend reading this as one piece, done through the "view series" botton on the page. Reading them broken up doesn't really follor suit as this is one complete story.
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