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Lord Of Combat, Chapter 1

 
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hboff
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Joined: 25 Jul 2004
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PostPosted: Fri Jul 28, 2006 11:59 am    Post subject: Lord Of Combat, Chapter 1 Reply with quote

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Lord Of Combat, Chapter 1
Posted by Jon T. (jtforums@gmail.com)
26 July 2006, 11:01 pm

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=Jon_T.0726062301511.html
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Solidus Snake
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Joined: 30 Jul 2004
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Location: A dying Metal Community

PostPosted: Fri Jul 28, 2006 10:40 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Uh . . . . . Confused
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Syotica
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PostPosted: Fri Jul 28, 2006 11:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

This obviously isn't a poem, so why are you spacing it out like it is? If it is a poem, well.... Confused
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Dr Sky Tower
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Joined: 10 Jun 2006
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PostPosted: Fri Aug 04, 2006 3:34 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Question Question
It's an ok kind of a story, but why have you got it in double spacing like a poem? It sort of reads like a poem but its just one long stanza (or paragraph if it's an actual story).

The (really really) short sentences made it harder to read (unless you intended it to be a poem) so my usually very long attention span was whittled to zilch mighty quick. It probably would've read a lot easier if you just wrote it as a normal story, not a story in poem-mode. Confused
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