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A Dark Calling - Prologue: Juggernaut

 
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hboff
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PostPosted: Fri Jul 14, 2006 12:56 pm    Post subject: A Dark Calling - Prologue: Juggernaut Reply with quote

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A Dark Calling - Prologue: Juggernaut
Posted by Mizbehavin (mizbehavincy@gmail.com)
11 July 2006, 11:24 pm

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=Mizbehavin0711062324331.html
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Spartan006
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Joined: 17 Mar 2006
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PostPosted: Fri Jul 14, 2006 9:20 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, it was different. There were some problems with your paragraphing, but at least you paragraphed. When the speaker changes, you need to start a new paragraph. The dividing lines in your story seemed to be placed at random. Dividing lines are best used when trying to show a change in scene, or mood. It was decent overall, 7/10.
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Mizbehavin
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PostPosted: Fri Jul 14, 2006 9:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yeah that was my first attempt at trying to use the dividing lines and i didn't really know how to use them so thanks for the tip Smile
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