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A Grunts fight : Chapter 2

 
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hboff
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Joined: 25 Jul 2004
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PostPosted: Fri Jul 14, 2006 12:56 pm    Post subject: A Grunts fight : Chapter 2 Reply with quote

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A Grunts fight : Chapter 2
Posted by Anton (johnbarron26@hotmail.com)
11 July 2006, 10:45 pm

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=Anton0711062245511.html
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Spartan006
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Joined: 17 Mar 2006
Posts: 366
Location: On the worst internet ever...for real.

PostPosted: Fri Jul 14, 2006 7:48 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The storyline was pretty good, but you need to learn when to change paragraphs or at least form them for that matter. Every time the speaker changes, there needs to be another paragraph. Use the CODE, or at least block paragraph (that means hitting the Enter button twice before resuming typing). It just needs paragraphing from what I can tell. Work on that, and you should be fine. 5/10
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