HBO Fan Fiction

hboff · Site Admin Joined: 25 Jul 2004 Posts: 4351

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343 Guilty Spark (a poem)
Posted by Anton (johnbarron26@hotmail.com)
4 July 2006, 9:35 pm

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=Anton0704062135091.html

[RC] Elite · Posted: Sat Jul 08, 2006 2:17 am Post subject: Good...

Not to shabby. I like it better than some of the other recent fanfic. Smile

Johny117 · Member Joined: 22 Feb 2006 Posts: 118

Meh, it was scattered with mispelled words. How many more times must I repeat myself. Capitalize the beggining of every sentence! Mad

.

I found the last stanza funny for some reason Laughing

. It sounded as if you had a hard time finding the correct words to rhyme.
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[RC] Elite · Posted: Sat Jul 08, 2006 4:08 pm Post subject: Johny Boy is right...

[quote]Meh, it was scattered with mispelled words. How many more times must I repeat myself. Capitalize the beggining of every sentence! Mad .

I found the last stanza funny for some reason Laughing. It sounded as if you had a hard time finding the correct words to rhyme.
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Our right, john. By the way, we usually end up posting on same topics.

Nick Kang · Posted: Sun Jul 09, 2006 3:30 pm Post subject:

Nothing remarkable. A lot of spelling errors, broken flow in many places, and some rhymes that seemed rather forced. Work on that.
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Eighty percent of human wisdom is the desire to not butt into other peoples' business, and the other twenty percent doesn't matter.

Spartan006 · Posted: Mon Jul 10, 2006 11:29 pm Post subject:

It was good. There were some misspelled words though, and the rhyme pattern wasn't uniform. Your title was also a little misleading. Seeing as the title was 343 Guilty Spark (a poem), one would expect there to be at least some mention of him, that is unless you are talking about the level, then it would be fine. 8/10.
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Randomly invading your fanfiction since 2006.