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343 Guilty Spark (a poem)

 
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hboff
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PostPosted: Fri Jul 07, 2006 12:28 pm    Post subject: 343 Guilty Spark (a poem) Reply with quote

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343 Guilty Spark (a poem)
Posted by Anton (johnbarron26@hotmail.com)
4 July 2006, 9:35 pm

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=Anton0704062135091.html
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PostPosted: Sat Jul 08, 2006 2:17 am    Post subject: Good... Reply with quote

Not to shabby. I like it better than some of the other recent fanfic. Smile
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Johny117
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PostPosted: Sat Jul 08, 2006 3:40 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Meh, it was scattered with mispelled words. How many more times must I repeat myself. Capitalize the beggining of every sentence! Mad .

I found the last stanza funny for some reason Laughing. It sounded as if you had a hard time finding the correct words to rhyme.
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PostPosted: Sat Jul 08, 2006 4:08 pm    Post subject: Johny Boy is right... Reply with quote

[quote]Meh, it was scattered with mispelled words. How many more times must I repeat myself. Capitalize the beggining of every sentence! Mad .

I found the last stanza funny for some reason Laughing. It sounded as if you had a hard time finding the correct words to rhyme.
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Nick Kang
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PostPosted: Sun Jul 09, 2006 3:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Nothing remarkable. A lot of spelling errors, broken flow in many places, and some rhymes that seemed rather forced. Work on that.
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Spartan006
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PostPosted: Mon Jul 10, 2006 11:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

It was good. There were some misspelled words though, and the rhyme pattern wasn't uniform. Your title was also a little misleading. Seeing as the title was 343 Guilty Spark (a poem), one would expect there to be at least some mention of him, that is unless you are talking about the level, then it would be fine. 8/10.
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