HBO Fan Fiction

[hboff]

This topic is for posting comments to:

Working Relationshio
Posted by Daria Sigma (udsigma@yahoo.com)
16 October 2004, 1:53 AM

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=daria_sigma.1016040153041.html

[thedarkfire]

You used the code!!! Although this was a very out-of-character story, I still don't think that the Chief would say "the big cheese".

Other than that, great

[AmokTheClown]

that was pretty cool. i liked it...

you wrote it really well, and seemed to be on a role when dealing with the Master Chief's character, that of a bit of a loner. it was kinda weird that he would have a pet cat, seeing that he's spent his whole life in the military. i wouldn't imagine him moving off barracks if he had the choice (pets usually aren't allowed on barracks). also, people that spend prolonged periods in the military don't adjust into civilian life very well...

but other then that, it was pretty cool him arguing with Cortana... but i doubt that he would have been distracted enough to almost bypass a high profile target such as a silver Elite...

but really good none the less...

[Azrael]

That was hilarious. I mean, it doesnt follow any kind of reasonable description of MC, but that doesn't mean I didn't love it. Great stuff.
...But by the way, you can't copyright your fan fiction work. If you want to see a great flame, back in the day someone flipped out about copywriting fan fiction. The Chief and Cortana are property of Microsoft, and already copyrighted. That's it. I wont mention it again cuz that's not the point.
The point is your story was very, very, very funy. Great work.
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...now that's some gritty shizzle.

[Pajari]

That was hi-larious. Good stuff. Even though it did seem out-of-character, it was still funny. Keep it up.

[MC's Cousin]

Yeah, don't try to copyright your work here. if you post it on the internet, you can't expect people to resonablably repect it.

Now to the story itself.
As for him being annoyed with his visor, well, he's worked with his equipment for a while, you'd think he would be used to it and comfortable by now.
As for your characters, well, is this supposed to be a comedy? If it is, this is okay, it was kinda funny; but, if you didn't intend this as a comedy, you need tofix the characters. Both of the personalitites were way off, and kinda shamed what we already know of them. Like, Cortana isn't going to ask about a personal life, she has read his file and she has code in her that would allow her to get all sorts of stuff about him.
Oh, and during dialogue, use quotation marks. ("...text...").

Overall, it was alright, could have used some more detail; plus spelling and grammar revisions. As a comedy it is decent.
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-MCC

[Ratbat]

From the author...

Hi. First off, thanks everyone who liked the story. It was just a silly wee piece I wrote one day, so I'm glad it afforded some amusement.

There's been some interesting points raised here, so I just thought I'd respond to some of them...

First off, we all got that story was really called 'Working Relationship', right? Silly Daria missed the key and never noticed.

I don't know if some of the thinks about the Chief's character were from people who'd read the books...I haven't, though, so all I was going from was the game. I actually started to wonder about the 'personality' of a video game character. After all, most of the time we-the-player are running the Chief. So is his character 'really' what's seen in the brief animated bits, or however we control him for the rest of the game? An interesting question, I thought...

Ahem. Sorry, that was a tangent rather than an excuse. I did, though, as some of you said, step outside the bounds a bit, as it was a humorous story. So, I'm aware that Bootsie probably shan't be making an appearance in Halo 2. Unless you imagine him/her as some cyberkitty in a li'l cat-ear-holed Spartan helmet...

I also seem to have opened a bit of a can of worms with my copyright notice. I'll just say that (where I am - Australia - at least) anything written is copyright its author. I can't actually do anything worth speaking of with this story, because I don't own any of the characters or whatnot. But Bungie couldn't just grab it and publish it in their Big Book Of Funny Halo Stories without my permission, either. It's really a legal impasse, of course. (Marion Zimmer Bradley ran into a bad end of this stick once, come to think of it.)

Thanks for the character notes - if I write a 'straighter' story I'll be sure to think more on those things.

Cheers,
Daria

[MC's Cousin]

[quote="RatbatI also seem to have opened a bit of a can of worms with my copyright notice. I'll just say that (where I am - Australia - at least) anything written is copyright its author. I can't actually do anything worth speaking of with this story, because I don't own any of the characters or whatnot. But Bungie couldn't just grab it and publish it in their Big Book Of Funny Halo Stories without my permission, either. It's really a legal impasse, of course. (Marion Zimmer Bradley ran into a bad end of this stick once, come to think of it.)[/quote]

Well, Bungie could if they were working off of the American copyright laws. Here, you also have a copyright, believe it or not, from the moment you write something down. Of course, in a case like this, you cannot claim ownership over the characters and stuff. But, there is a big but here, unless you submit it for a copyright, anyone who wants to can use it freely, without worry of the law. They might get a fuss out of you, but if you go to a court about it they'll say "sorry, no official copyright here."
Besides, I also went on a tangent just then, Bungie has their own writers, and can come up with awesome story stuff by themselves (the current Halo-verse is a testament to that).

Well, it looks like it's back to average time blowing Heroic stuff for me (Legendary is for bad days).
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-MCC