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Education: Chapter II of IV

 
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hboff
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PostPosted: Fri Jun 16, 2006 1:15 pm    Post subject: Education: Chapter II of IV Reply with quote

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Education: Chapter II of IV
Posted by Dagorath (hoyinshan@gmail.com)
16 June 2006, 9:28 am

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=Dagorath0616060928121.html
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Imperorator_Jon
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PostPosted: Fri Jun 16, 2006 3:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

*Dances the go-for-the-unpopular-kid dance* Yes! I knew Tommy was going to get happier, the fighting scene was greatly written, and the rest of it puts me to shame.

I also loved how Tommy got Annie! Go Tommy!

All around, this is 10/10.... bloody hell, make it a 11/10, this was great, I can almost parrallel it with my life.

Write more faster!
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Dagorath
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PostPosted: Sat Jun 17, 2006 4:11 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

He didn't "get" her yet.... And the fighting scene took ages. I had to let him win but still show him as a pretty cr*p fighter....difficult. TY for the comment anyway.

The next chapter freaks me out.
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Commander Demitri Wolf
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PostPosted: Sat Jun 17, 2006 4:19 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ah, Tommy, what a little trooper. Good on him for fighting back, and for 'chatting up' that Annie bird Razz . I got the feeling though that she's using him, maybe I'm wrong. Well written chapter, Dag, you've done well with a story in the Halo universe with next to no Covenant involvement, actually, there was none in this chapter ey.

Looking forward to the next.
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Imperorator_Jon
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PostPosted: Sat Jun 17, 2006 11:43 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Wait one second, I just noticed this
Quote:
Pokemon


Your telling me a series from over 500 years ago survived to this day? Even though it was about freakish creatures? Yikes, there now must be *does mental math* 2,000,000,000,000,000,000 <---- Many of them. Poor poor future people, they have to go through worse than I do.

On a serious note, I still like the fight scene, very well written. Also, I can't wait for the next chapter!
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Dagorath
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PostPosted: Sun Jun 18, 2006 1:42 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Er. I actually threw canonity out of the window on this , but let's just say that, since the population is still booming in India and Africa (China's One Child Policy has now left them with a load of single guys) there is a constant supply of inane little ickle pests who like watching Ash say: "Pikachu, I choose you!" The wheel survived for several thousand years; the Pyramids are still around; why can't Pokemon?

Let's hope in 500 years Pokemon has died out.
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thedude12345
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PostPosted: Sun Jun 18, 2006 3:59 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

As everyone else said, greatly written fight scene. Liked the part in biology with the girl, but i agree with demitri that i think he is being used. Anxious for the next one(there should be nore that 4 Very Happy ).
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Johny117
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PostPosted: Sun Jun 18, 2006 7:43 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

That was great. I wonder how the other chapters will end up.
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monitor101
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PostPosted: Fri Jun 23, 2006 1:45 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

That was the best fanfic I've read in long time. I'll have to go back and read the rest of the series.
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Archangel_7
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PostPosted: Fri Jun 23, 2006 4:05 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I love these stories. I find a lot of myself in Tommy (I'm not sure if that's a good thing), and your style is great, but you seriously need some formatting.
Really.
But that aside, this is really a great fic. 9.0/10
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Dagorath
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PostPosted: Fri Jun 23, 2006 6:07 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hmm. Thanks for the kudos. I'm not going to put any hints about the storyline, though it is true that i might make the decision to have "nore that 4 Very Happy" chapters - the last chapter seems chunkier than expected. I'm worried that "V of IV" will look lame though Very Happy

I based Tommy on myself, though thankfully that was my 9-year-old self. I'd like to think I'm a lot more socially successful than him Very Happy Though I don't get to play computer as much.
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