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The Tameing Of The Hunters Pt 1

 
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hboff
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Joined: 25 Jul 2004
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PostPosted: Fri Jun 16, 2006 1:15 pm    Post subject: The Tameing Of The Hunters Pt 1 Reply with quote

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The Tameing Of The Hunters Pt 1
Posted by Will Fugate (ProphetOfSorrow) (occupation_ninja@yahoo.com)
12 June 2006, 8:14 am

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=Will_Fugate_0612060814111.html
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Johny117
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Joined: 22 Feb 2006
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PostPosted: Wed Jun 21, 2006 6:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Um, you have a good storyline, but can you paragraph?


"Arbiter, A Phantom is on its way. Don't make the mistake of letting that....THING run loose..."

Just some minor mistakes. Nothing big. But you don't need to capitalize "THING" for over emphasis.
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