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Outlaw six: Libertad

 
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hboff
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Joined: 25 Jul 2004
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PostPosted: Fri Jun 09, 2006 11:37 am    Post subject: Outlaw six: Libertad Reply with quote

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Outlaw six: Libertad
Posted by Andres (andres_vera2000@yahoo.com)
9 June 2006, 12:18 am

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=Andres0609060018031.html
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russ687
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Joined: 06 Aug 2004
Posts: 720
Location: Daytona Beach, FL

PostPosted: Sat Jun 10, 2006 11:27 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

So far, so good. But one big thing... formatting. You forgot every indent, and it's making it quite hard to read. I haven't finished the chapter, but so far it's been good. I just must reiterate the formatting problem; if you neglect this, people may not read it. Next time, be sure you get all your indents in.

Keep on going, Andres.

-R
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Andres
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PostPosted: Sun Jun 11, 2006 7:40 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh, I did, conciously. I thought I didn't have enough time.

Thanks for the review russ,

Andres
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STEEL RAIN
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Joined: 23 Jan 2006
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PostPosted: Sun Jun 11, 2006 8:21 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Very proffesional, I love it.

I thought I was reading a Military book!
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Solidus Snake
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Joined: 30 Jul 2004
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PostPosted: Mon Jun 12, 2006 3:19 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

You kept getting village and town confused, so try not to get words confused and always check for the definition if not sure.

I kinda thought there wasn't enough Covenant troops in the town or village, which everyone it was.

And it good to see someone who actually knows their phonetic alphabet. It does seem good but to be honest, I didn't finish it all. Mostly no indents.
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STEEL RAIN
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PostPosted: Mon Jun 12, 2006 4:49 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

How the hell can you find all that?!
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Solidus Snake
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PostPosted: Mon Jun 12, 2006 6:06 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Lol, all of what?

(and if you don't know, this is Polaris. Very Happy)
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