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Bright Shadows
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hboff
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PostPosted: Fri Jun 02, 2006 3:50 pm    Post subject: Bright Shadows Reply with quote

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Bright Shadows
Posted by CoLd BlooDed (broken_lizard12@hotmail.com)
28 May 2006, 10:19 pm

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=CoLd_BlooDed0528062219021.html
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Solidus Snake
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PostPosted: Fri Jun 02, 2006 4:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

A soldier feeling sorry for the victims he slain? Then it leads to his own suicide? That's where I'm getting at and I like it. Dark and wicked.
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Mark25
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PostPosted: Fri Jun 02, 2006 5:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I liked it, couple of misfires here and there but overall, it told a mighty tale. Review after a second read sunday and I've had time to digest the material. Looking good. Really great title too.
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Nick Kang
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PostPosted: Fri Jun 02, 2006 7:02 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quite a few flow-disruptors towards the beginning, but you're still pretty much at the top of it all, CoLd.
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CoLd BlooDed
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PostPosted: Sat Jun 03, 2006 1:25 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I was aware of those, but it's all in the way of reading the poem - faster at parts, or slower at parts. But thanks, guys. Very Happy

Oh, and try to guess the what this poem is really about - whoever gets it will get my respect (and not you, Dave; you already know!). Twisted Evil
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Solidus Snake
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PostPosted: Sat Jun 03, 2006 3:00 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Um . . . Jenkins?

Wait . . . was you under the influence? Confused
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CoLd BlooDed
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PostPosted: Sat Jun 03, 2006 4:16 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

No! Laughing

Anyways, you're close with your guess of Jenkins, but it's not quite that. Any other takers?
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Commander Demitri Wolf
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PostPosted: Sat Jun 03, 2006 4:48 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
Here I stand, all but stone,
Frozen in place, too alone;


Good opening lines that make me hazard a guess and say Keyes? But either way I liked it muchly, the change in meter fit well with it. Nice, CoLd, very much up to your standard.
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CoLd BlooDed
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PostPosted: Sat Jun 03, 2006 4:56 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

That's a fine analysis, Demitri, and both of you are right when it comes along the lines of being about the Flood - but you're both off by a tad.

Instead, look at the last couple stanzas; preferably this one.

I wrote:
Short hall, but longest walk,
On Death's door, all did knock;
Except this soldier, except me,


Read it closely and get back to me. Very Happy
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Nick Kang
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PostPosted: Sat Jun 03, 2006 8:19 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I know! I know!

It's about your mom!!!!

Sorry. Couldn't resist. Instinct got the better of me.
My guess would be that his unit got ambushed in a short hall by Flood and they all died except for him. He lived. Didn't die.
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Commander Demitri Wolf
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PostPosted: Sat Jun 03, 2006 8:55 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
Within my veins, new life prudes,
Johnson! Or the crazy guy who shoots at you if you get too close... Tell me I'm right, hehe.
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Solidus Snake
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PostPosted: Sat Jun 03, 2006 4:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
Is it fate, or cowardice,
That I stand here alone?
Is it guilt, or regret,
For I have laughed at the moans!


Hah, yeah, I think Demetri is right.
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CoLd BlooDed
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PostPosted: Sat Jun 03, 2006 8:40 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Demitri is of course one-hundred percent correct. Sergeant Johnson. Very Happy
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Imperorator_Jon
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PostPosted: Sat Jun 03, 2006 8:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

You are good Cold, you fooled me! No human fools me! *calls Constantine* You actually outsmarted me... good job!

Last edited by Imperorator_Jon on Sat Jun 03, 2006 11:52 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Azathoth
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PostPosted: Sat Jun 03, 2006 11:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

It's Private First Class Jenkins. And the 'author' was Sergeant Major Avery J. Johnson. Up with the invincible Sarge.
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