HBO Fan Fiction

hboff · Site Admin Joined: 25 Jul 2004 Posts: 4351

This topic is for posting comments to:

,Ninjas on Fire (machinema screenplay)
Posted by peterbrooks (stay_with_the_pete@hotmail.com)
14 May 2006, 7:30 am

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=peterbrooks0514060730591.html

Mark25 · Posted: Sun May 14, 2006 7:36 pm Post subject:

Scene one

From a small circular turning in the grass a noise can be heard, the occupant of the bunker below is unscrewing a manhole cover. The cover is lopped sidewards as hands are visible each side of the freshly opened hole.

Still nestled safely inside, Mark26 looks over to the guy standing before a wall of criticism and critics bearing their sharply honed teeth towards him. Mark seems awash with pity for the poor soul about to be shredded into small pieces.

The bunker rat shouts out a bit of encouragement:

"Hey Pete, that's a bold and unusual method of articulation."

Mark26 quickly seals over the manhole before the feasting begins.

Scene ends.

Scene Two

Pete suffers terribly from multiple bitemarks from critics.

Dude your chosen form of exposition was most unusual and difficult to appreciate, not least because it's hard to get into something that ideally needs to be watched to get a good feel for. Sorry mate, no pointers til it's at least in a story-esque format. I know you may not want it in that style but this ain't a pleasant method, trust me.

SYSTEM · Posted: Sun May 14, 2006 8:47 pm Post subject:

Imperorator_Jon · Member Joined: 29 Oct 2005 Posts: 97 Location: Moop?

A tad fuzzy at parts, clear at others, just keep working on it. Take Dave's advice, or whatever it was Confused

. Still, keep posting. I enjoyed it a little:

8/10 that was enjoyable.

Mainevent · Posted: Mon May 15, 2006 1:33 am Post subject:

For emerging screen-writers, Script-buddy.com is a wonderful on-line tool that helps you format and write your screenplays quickly and easily. Only downside I've seen is that you can't really save it to your computer (it saves it on their servers), nor can you just send it to friends alone (you have to "publish" it, so everyone can see it then).

Chiajy · Member Joined: 23 Mar 2006 Posts: 122 Location: Singapore

I thought we were supposed to write stories....

Mainevent · Posted: Wed May 17, 2006 11:37 am Post subject:

Screenplays are stories, just in different format.

If you mean straight prose literature, I suppose. But fan fiction isn't really that limiting.

Plays, poems, stories, etc could technically all fall under that category.

monitor101 · Member Joined: 10 Aug 2004 Posts: 107 Location: Burbank

One thing you never want to do when writing a screenplay is numbering the scenes.

Mainevent · Posted: Thu May 18, 2006 8:27 pm Post subject:

Not your general screenplay, but shooting screenplays do.

peterbrooks · Member Joined: 23 May 2006 Posts: 1

Ahh where did my post go!!

oh well im not retyping it. Thanks for the comments. I posted here because I was curious. Im glad you enjoyed it. You probably wont see me again. etc.