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The Last Halo
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hboff
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PostPosted: Fri Apr 14, 2006 4:40 pm    Post subject: The Last Halo Reply with quote

This topic is for posting comments to:

The Last Halo
Posted by pest/swingamajig (car_radical@yahoo.co.uk)
9 April 2006, 1:38 pm

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=pestswingama0409061338511.html
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JCDentonCZ
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PostPosted: Fri Apr 14, 2006 5:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

This is sure a part of excellence. Good formatted, good plot, good description and really captivating. I felt everything could go wrong, hoping the Flood wouldn't get out and unleash hell... and the tactics are done really well as well. The characters are well - described and cleanly done.

Great work with this piece, pest/swingamajig! Keep up the great work and take your time into making the complete series as good as you've shown you did here.

- JC
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Cassus Falco
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Location: Oh, I'm hanging around near a picket fence on a grassy knoll off Dealey Plaza.

PostPosted: Fri Apr 14, 2006 10:20 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

It was very good; I like the idea of a story set in the future, when the last of the Halo is being destroyed. Still, I felt you did not use the Code where you should have, a lack of use that no one would probably care about.

When you name 117's ship, put it in italics, so instead of
Quote:
'Trial and Tribulation'

you could write
Quote:
Trials and Tribulation

Good job, and I want to read the next part of the series. Many Thanks.

Also, ready my Blue Horizon series, I'm interested on what you would have to say.
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STEEL RAIN
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PostPosted: Fri Apr 14, 2006 11:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Cool, I like your aproach on this story!
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ag1337
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PostPosted: Sat Apr 15, 2006 6:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Very good. Except one clear mistake;
You wrote:
With a rasping cough, the speaker crackled and on came the voice of the AI Cortana.


All "smart" A.Is have a life-span of seven years, and apparently it has been over a century...
Is this Cortana a clone? Maybe you should include that it part 2. I'd give this 8/10.
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Cassus Falco
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PostPosted: Sun Apr 16, 2006 12:06 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

ag1337 raises a good point. So-called 'Smart' AIs 'live' for seven years, finally dying when their neural pathways are overloaded with information. They literally think themselves to death.

Also, lets not forget that Cortana has had to handle a lot of information over the space of two months; Halo's entire datacore, Ascendant Justice's datacore, High Charity's datacore, and everything Delta Halo heaped on her. This amount of information would severely have degraded her neural pathways.

And, if this is a clone, she would have severely limited usage; each copy has an increasing amount of code drift, and they become less and less effective ocer time. This Cortana must be severely fragmented.

Perhaps a good story point for future episodes.
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ag1337
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PostPosted: Sun Apr 16, 2006 3:34 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

And also, you said that John was elderly. But how elderly? On Alpha Halo-04 (which is on Halo 1) he is about fourty years old. You would probably know that if you have read the Halo novels. So if the events take place fifty years later... then John/Master Chief/Spartan-117 is ninety or older. That's really old.

You wrote:
"You know, I never really thanked you for rescuing me from the Flood on Delta Halo." John said.


Well considering it's been over fifty years, that really doesn't make sense... anyway, I'm just rambling now.

Good job, I will definetly read your next fic.
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pest/swingamajig
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PostPosted: Sun Apr 16, 2006 12:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi guys and gals, I only just became a member to answer all these posts!
I've never read the halo novels so I didnt realise Cortana only lives for 7 years poor her.
I've already posted part 2 but im unsure whether it will appear correctly, the instructions confused me Razz its great to see there are people who follow the story line as much as I do!

Alex
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SYSTEM
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PostPosted: Sun Apr 16, 2006 5:40 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Topic pruned. Currently there is no way to change your username (as laid out in the rules), but if you wish to change your forum nickname, that can be arranged. Contact Wado for details.

- Dave.
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Cassus Falco
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PostPosted: Tue Apr 18, 2006 12:08 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Somebody help!

Why is Installation 04 called Alpha Halo? It doesn't make sense; Installation 05 is called Delta Halo, so shouldn't 343 Guilty Spark's pride and joy be call Gamma Halo?

Also, if Bungie has a third Monitor/Oracle in Halo 3, I've got a good name for 'im: ### Impertinent Observer.
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Elizar
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PostPosted: Tue Apr 18, 2006 12:20 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

He might have picked it up from the Extras video about the multiplayer maps in the map-pack DVD.

I just watched it today, and when they were talking about BackWash, they said "Alpha Halo".

If there is a third halo, the monitor should be 1. If they are intending to have it closed triology. The monitors numbers are 7^([installation number]-1). So, if they are going to end it, they might as well do it on Installation 1, which makes 7^0 = 1.
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sdn
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PostPosted: Tue Apr 18, 2006 1:07 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

The first Halo was 004, not 003. (The forumla could work if the Forerunner's number systems starts counting from zero instead of one, though.)
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Elizar
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PostPosted: Tue Apr 18, 2006 3:54 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Monitor number = 7^(x-1)
Installation number = x = 4
Monitor number = 7^(4-1) = 7^3 = 343

Monitor for installation 04 is 343

01 = 1
02 = 7
03 = 49
04 = 343 (Guilty Spark)
05 = 2401 (Pendient Tangent)
06 = 16807
07 = 117649

'Guilty Spark' means someone who is guilty of something big, but without actually grasping the subsequents of his/her actions.
'Pendient Tangent' means someone who had observed some kind of crime.

Meanings of names might be inaccurate, as this information was located somewhere on the HBO's "The halo story" section over a year ago.
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pest/swingamajig
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PostPosted: Tue Apr 18, 2006 2:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

That is heavy to have to think about! But you're completely right well done
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JCDentonCZ
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PostPosted: Tue Apr 18, 2006 4:52 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

It's actually Penitent Tangent. Razz

Still, good response there.

- JC
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