HBO Fan Fiction

hboff · Site Admin Joined: 25 Jul 2004 Posts: 4352

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Shattered Glory
Posted by pest/swingamajig (car_radical@yahoo.co.uk)
6 April 2006, 11:36 am

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=pestswingama0406061136071.html

ag1337 · Posted: Fri Apr 07, 2006 10:55 pm Post subject:

Pretty good. Laughing

I like the idea of Covenant ripping apart each other. Oh, and do you mean Halcyon Class Cruiser not Halogen class frigate? Well, anyway the ending was good-messed up-but still good. It's kind of funny really, how the jackal helps Tarturus yet he throws him in the cell with the elite. Haha, I wonder what would happen when the elite wakes up. Poor jackal... Crying or Very sad

Dagorath · Posted: Tue Apr 11, 2006 3:11 am Post subject:

Right. Where to start. I liked your plot, extending a little before the start of H2, but there are some things that are out of order. For instance, I don't think the Arbiter - or what he was before - would be escorted by only two Brutes. Also, Brutes are very strong: I find it hard to believe that he can take two of them on - Tartarus included - and win. Bear that in mind.

On the canon side still, I liked the Grunts - very realistic - and the speech wasn't too bad.

Make sure you proof-read everything: there are a few GPS mistakes therein. You can use [hr] for horizontal rules if you want.