HBO Fan Fiction

hboff · Site Admin Joined: 25 Jul 2004 Posts: 4352

This topic is for posting comments to:

Longsword R: Casualty
Posted by Sterfrye36 (Sterfrye36@yahoo.com)
23 March 2006, 3:35 am

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=Sterfrye360323060335561.html

(ENS) Rabid_Gallagher · Posted: Fri Mar 24, 2006 6:21 pm Post subject:

Well Sterfrye, the part where James I believe conveyed his feelings was a bit weird. I'm feeling weird after that, I got goosebumps from that.
_________________

"My appreciation for being quoted is being masked by my distaste for your incompetence, Gallagher" - Shrumertaor
Idea, Plot, Character, and Forum Signatures

Commander Demitri Wolf · Posted: Fri Mar 24, 2006 9:16 pm Post subject:

I'm sorry to say I haven't been reading this series, I am going to one day, it was really good. Good work.

Sterfrye36 · Posted: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:10 pm Post subject:

Thanks, guys, I appreciate it. And if you really did get goosebumps, I'm doing my job.

By the way...anyone recognize the significance of the last sentence?

Here's a (very) big hint.
_________________
FFPotW Winner Total: 2 (Longsword R: Midway 8/8/08 ) (The Letter 11/14/08 )
"I...have...power issues." -Phae

Commander Demitri Wolf · Posted: Fri Mar 24, 2006 11:14 pm Post subject:

Trying to piece the little bits of information I know of the Norah series together (God I have to read these stories one day!) I'm gonna ask if thats in fact where you are, on the bridge of the Norah.

SYSTEM · Posted: Sat Mar 25, 2006 4:16 am Post subject:

Oh god! Oh god!

Well, I wish I could record the AIM conversation and stick it up here. You guys don't know how overjoyed I am to see ______ has finally returned! I mean, I really couldn't believe it. It was like a dream come true.

A dream come true.

And about the _____ part, well, hehe, well, we know how that rubbed off on me.

As for the writing, superior A+ grade as usual. A very clean tone, without being too practical. Nothing to get in the way, everything blended in nicely. Not too much detail, just the right amount to match the situation. Love that in there. Everything compiled nicely!

The verdict?

- Hell Yeah? Oh, it'll be a Hell Yeah alright. Two!

- Dave.
_________________
"Lizzie Borden took an axe and gave her mother forty whacks. When she saw what she had done, she gave her father forty-one." - A child's nursery rhyme.

"When in doubt, empty your magazine." - Murphy's first law of combat operations.

Sterfrye36 · Posted: Sat Mar 25, 2006 4:18 am Post subject:

Heh. I would post the AIM convo, but I think that violates some sort of rule.

And "bloody hell yeah"? I think that's a new sort of ranking from you, Dave.
_________________
FFPotW Winner Total: 2 (Longsword R: Midway 8/8/08 ) (The Letter 11/14/08 )
"I...have...power issues." -Phae

SYSTEM · Posted: Sat Mar 25, 2006 4:44 am Post subject:

Actually, I changed it to reflect the review I gave ya in the AIM conversation.

Well, I'll say that ______ was an excellent series. Brilliant. Just brilliant. Everything tied in there, everything. No loose ends to wind up, trip over, and get caught in, but I'm glad to see that at least one door that was left shut hasn't been locked.

And how fitting that it will open now. Poetic justice.

- Dave.

Edit: Oops, one thing I forgot to remember. Although I hate locator caps, this one at the bottom was just fine.
_________________
"Lizzie Borden took an axe and gave her mother forty whacks. When she saw what she had done, she gave her father forty-one." - A child's nursery rhyme.

"When in doubt, empty your magazine." - Murphy's first law of combat operations.

STEEL RAIN · Posted: Sat Mar 25, 2006 7:17 pm Post subject:

I like how you made the Longsword the creation of Grumman, one question, why?

Mainevent · Posted: Sat Mar 25, 2006 7:27 pm Post subject:

I think it said that somewhere in the books, or manual. Can't remember. Though I do think I remember seeing it somewhere.

Commander Demitri Wolf · Posted: Sat Mar 25, 2006 11:14 pm Post subject:

Yeah it's in a book or a manual 'Northrop Grumman C709 Longsword' is in there for sure.

STEEL RAIN · Posted: Sat Mar 25, 2006 11:30 pm Post subject:

Cool, the best two fighter aircraft designers co-created the Longsword. Sweet. But what happened to Lockheed?

Sterfrye36 · Posted: Sun Mar 26, 2006 12:20 am Post subject:

Wow, I must be getting good. I actually made that completely up. Confused

Did I not put Lockheed-Martin in there? That's odd, I could have sworn that I did...
_________________
FFPotW Winner Total: 2 (Longsword R: Midway 8/8/08 ) (The Letter 11/14/08 )
"I...have...power issues." -Phae

thedarkfire · Posted: Sun Mar 26, 2006 5:03 am Post subject:

Ster you never cease to amaze.

I know what the hells going on Sami! Wink

Mainevent · Posted: Mon Mar 27, 2006 12:23 am Post subject:

Wow.

That was just wonderful Ster. The tying in of the ending.

You definitely pull off some of the best space battles, especially fighter and flight size, of anyone I've read (on here or otherwise).

Technically you're almost perfect, I don't even know if I saw any problems in this. I was enjoying the story too much to care.

Keep 'em coming old dean!