HBO Fan Fiction

[hboff]

This topic is for posting comments to:

Biological Storage: Three
Posted by Dagorath (hoyinshan@gmail.com)
10 March 2006, 12:59 pm

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=Dagorath0310061259191.html

[Smackblasta]

Holy crap. I had to censor my original response before I posted it, definately liking this one.

[Tin Can Man]

This reads just as well as it did during my proof-read.

[STEEL RAIN]

nice, dude, very nice.

[Random 14-Year-Old]

Yes.. like I told you before, that action scene was great. And just when I think John has kicked ass and saved the day, it turns out Maria's been shot. Yes. Holy crap.

[Dagorath]

Thanks guys. There're MORE action scenes coming up, never fear. Will comes into play a little more. I'm worrying that he'll become the main character instead....

MCC says I need to add more detail in. I'll try.

[Random 14-Year-Old]

Hmm. Maybe. Just watch out and make sure that any extra detail doesn't detract from the smoothness of the story. That's one thing that really annoys ME sometimes -- finding a perfect balance between detail and smoothness.

[MC's Cousin]

It's attainable. The reason that I say that -- after all, I do mention detail an aweful lot -- is because I am a wordy writer myself. I use a lot of detail. It's one of my strong points in writing. So, naturally, when I see a story that doesn't have as much detail as I prefer -- not just in my writing, but in what I read -- I point that out.

Brevity is not always a bad thing -- sometimes it can be quite good. Stylistically, it can be a winner. But only when used well. Heck, if a writing style works for you, and gets stuff across, don't try to radically change it. However, tweaking with certain elements and changing the mix a bit could improve things ever so much. Just be careful.

It's like changing a recipe. Sure, yours might work, but if you add more of one ingredient, or less of another, it might turn out to be even better. Just do things in small doses -- don't radically change something that already tastes good, if you catch my meaning.

Keep working, Dagorath. You're doing fine. Besides, I am one picky SOB.
_________________
-MCC

[Random 14-Year-Old]

Ah.... the great philosophies of writing..

[Dagorath]

[Random 14-Year-Old]

It reminds me of one of Bungie's great philosophies.

Don't fix it if it ain't broken.

[MC's Cousin]

Indeed. But, even something that's in working order can be made to work better. Keep that in mind with your writing. (To be honest, one reason I used that anology was because I cook myself -- you should try my cheesecake )

As for a link to my own stories, Dagorath, I am sorry. In the great words of Mainevent "Homeboy don't write fiction." That is not to say I do not write, however. I simply have yet to post any material here.

I know, I'm a terrible example. But, if you can find me on IM, you have a chance of me sending you something, maybe. (Just don't tell anybody ).
_________________
-MCC

[Caleb the Jackal]

Yeah man... Yeah... I like this. I know we talked about it already but I'm just showing my support here.

Good one.

[Commander Demitri Wolf]

Never a fan of the Matrix, really, but this was enjoyable, short, but enjoyable. I think I missed part two, oh well, I'll read it next I guess.

[Dagorath]

THe next one is longer. Much longer. And there's no slow-mo....