HBO Fan Fiction

hboff · Site Admin Joined: 25 Jul 2004 Posts: 4351

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Abomination
Posted by The Reclaimer (reclaimer_5@yahoo.com)
4 March 2006, 6:58 pm

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=The_Reclaime0304061858471.html

Solidus Snake · Posted: Sat Mar 11, 2006 12:58 am Post subject:

Your rhyming scheme is off, try to get a pattern going. Good job, keep working hard.

MC's Cousin · Mr. 1337 Joined: 30 Jul 2004 Posts: 2142 Location: Here.

I can honestly say I was surprised when I reached the end of the third stanza and there was no more there. It was so short... dropped off so suddenly. That's not good.

However, the material wasn't half bad. Good stuff, but the flow was indeed a bit off. Don't exactly worry about rhyming all the time. That's awesome to accomplish, but not necessary as long as your words flow along smoothly regardless.

So, just work on making your words progress at a smoother pace. Oh yeah, and add more material. Keep it up.
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-MCC