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Abomination

 
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hboff
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PostPosted: Fri Mar 10, 2006 2:14 pm    Post subject: Abomination Reply with quote

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Abomination
Posted by The Reclaimer (reclaimer_5@yahoo.com)
4 March 2006, 6:58 pm

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=The_Reclaime0304061858471.html
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Solidus Snake
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Joined: 30 Jul 2004
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Location: A dying Metal Community

PostPosted: Sat Mar 11, 2006 12:58 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Your rhyming scheme is off, try to get a pattern going. Good job, keep working hard.
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MC's Cousin
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PostPosted: Sun Mar 12, 2006 12:46 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I can honestly say I was surprised when I reached the end of the third stanza and there was no more there. It was so short... dropped off so suddenly. That's not good.

However, the material wasn't half bad. Good stuff, but the flow was indeed a bit off. Don't exactly worry about rhyming all the time. That's awesome to accomplish, but not necessary as long as your words flow along smoothly regardless.

So, just work on making your words progress at a smoother pace. Oh yeah, and add more material. Keep it up.
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