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Chimps in Crisis: [A Story]

 
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hboff
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Joined: 25 Jul 2004
Posts: 4356

PostPosted: Fri Mar 03, 2006 4:23 pm    Post subject: Chimps in Crisis: [A Story] Reply with quote

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Chimps in Crisis: [A Story]
Posted by SeverianofUrth
3 March 2006, 2:30 pm

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=SeverianofUr0303061430351.html
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Radont
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Joined: 21 Jul 2005
Posts: 36
Location: Michigan

PostPosted: Fri Mar 03, 2006 4:54 pm    Post subject: Re: Chimps in Crisis: [A Story] Reply with quote

I am really liking your style. It's smart, fast and witty and I never really know what sort of image you'll be drudging up from the depths of my mind. I've said it before and I'll say it again, there was a certain Douglas Adams-ness to this one. There were too many great lines to name but one I particularly liked was

Quote:

Monkeys fell. Monkeys burned. Monkeys died.


Brilliant. Simply Brilliant. Have you actually read anything by Douglas Adams?
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SeverianofUrth
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Joined: 09 Aug 2004
Posts: 483
Location: Dumb posts & crap stories

PostPosted: Fri Mar 03, 2006 5:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
I am really liking your style. It's smart, fast and witty and I never really know what sort of image you'll be drudging up from the depths of my mind. I've said it before and I'll say it again, there was a certain Douglas Adams-ness to this one.


I've always had an urge to carve out a fjord of my own in South Africa, but forty-two men in white lab suits transmogrified me to make way for a interstellar highway...

Sorry. Just trying to be clever. Thanks for the high compliments--it's an honor. And yes, I am familiar with Adams' work, though I prefer Pratchett's Discworld novels.
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Commander Demitri Wolf
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Joined: 11 Oct 2004
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Location: In the tower above the earth

PostPosted: Fri Mar 03, 2006 10:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I found myself sympathising with Lowley and Colonel Levin Ackerson towards the end of this, then I re-read your little AN at the top. It was actually a moving story, you illustrated your point well and entertained at the same time, very well done.
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Dagorath
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Joined: 03 Apr 2005
Posts: 264
Location: Energy level 1.5

PostPosted: Sat Mar 04, 2006 1:50 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

How on EARTH do you do that? Chimpanzees with guns, and you still manage to create such a moving story? Wow. Skills dude.

Just fix the formatting. All those horizontal rules were annoying.
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CoLd BlooDed
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Joined: 09 Aug 2004
Posts: 706
Location: Noit acol.

PostPosted: Mon Mar 06, 2006 1:00 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Moving, yes, but come on, did no one else laugh at this? Monkeys with guns?

*laughs*

Twisted Evil Sorry, I'm just like that. Great job. Making an emotional story with monkeys is a true test to ones writing skills - hell, maybe I'll make a comedy with an old grandma dying of cancer.
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MC's Cousin
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Joined: 30 Jul 2004
Posts: 2142
Location: Here.

PostPosted: Mon Mar 06, 2006 1:32 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well. Well well. Well, well, well. That was interesting.

While there was a chuckle within me, trying to get out, I tempered that with the knowledge that is was supposed to be taken at least semi-seriously. Even so, I could not bring myself to ignore the few GPS mistakes. I know I might as well not bring that up, seeing as all stories have them, but I'm still convinced that you could have corrected them, Sev. If you weren't focused on the feel of the writing, that is.

Everything was written in a pleasantly casual manner. If this story had not been what it was, I would have more to say; but because of the subject and unique presentation, I'll let a bit slide.

Overall, though, it was pretty enjoyable. An interesting subject and plot. I liked it.
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