HBO Fan Fiction Forum Index HBO Fan Fiction
Forum for HBO Fan Fiction Related Stuff
 
 FAQFAQ   SearchSearch   MemberlistMemberlist   UsergroupsUsergroups   RegisterRegister 
 ProfileProfile   Log in to check your private messagesLog in to check your private messages   Log inLog in 

Cafe Rosebud

 
Post new topic   Reply to topic    HBO Fan Fiction Forum Index -> Fan Fiction Comments
View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
hboff
Site Admin


Joined: 25 Jul 2004
Posts: 4355

PostPosted: Fri Mar 03, 2006 4:23 pm    Post subject: Cafe Rosebud Reply with quote

This topic is for posting comments to:

Cafe Rosebud
Posted by Mainevent
3 March 2006, 12:42 am

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=Mainevent0303060042421.html
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
HELSING
Member


Joined: 21 Jan 2005
Posts: 151

PostPosted: Fri Mar 03, 2006 6:10 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Excellent story. Only one typo.

Quote:
Across from the phone lay a squat, gray bench, four meters long, obviously mass manufactured by the silvery, metallic material used to make it A man in a


You just left out a period at the end.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website
Mainevent
Member


Joined: 30 Jul 2004
Posts: 796
Location: Mobel, Abalama

PostPosted: Fri Mar 03, 2006 8:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Doh! *Bashes head on desk*

I'm a failure! Sad
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
STEEL RAIN
Member


Joined: 23 Jan 2006
Posts: 136
Location: WI, New York

PostPosted: Fri Mar 03, 2006 9:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

it was one period dude, hell if it wasnt for spellcheck I wouldve failed english. Nice story, but try to give a discription of the weapons you use. Cool
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
Commander Demitri Wolf
Member


Joined: 11 Oct 2004
Posts: 1073
Location: In the tower above the earth

PostPosted: Fri Mar 03, 2006 10:00 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

No I didn't mind the pistol not being described, loved where the story is going to Main and your writing is only getting better. I'm assuming the guy on the phone was the man from the boat (was it a boat, my memory is terrible) whose life he spared earlier. I hope I'm right, actually I hope I'm wrong, more informants in ONI could make this even interesting...er.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
STEEL RAIN
Member


Joined: 23 Jan 2006
Posts: 136
Location: WI, New York

PostPosted: Fri Mar 03, 2006 10:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I am a firearm fanatic, little things such as this put me to sleep at night, I would just like to see one story in which a colt 1911 .45 acp pistol was used. You know the tank in halo is inferior to the MBT that the US Military has. PM me if you want to know why.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
Mainevent
Member


Joined: 30 Jul 2004
Posts: 796
Location: Mobel, Abalama

PostPosted: Fri Mar 03, 2006 11:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The U.S. Abrams MBT can go up to 60 mph, the one in Halo goes what...6? The Scorpion has an exposed driver and gunner compartment, the Abrams is enclosed for the most part.

Abrams has a 120mm main weapon compared to the Scorpion's 90mm cannon. Abrams can hit targets a mile away regardless of light, smoke, or weather conditions.

There are other reasons the Abrams is superior to the Scorpion, but lets not get too technical now. Wink

And for argument's sake, the pistol used in the story was a Model 2544 Beretta 12mm solid black Vengeance series with rubber grips, extended 6 inch barrel, 15 bullet magazine, double/single action, and 3 dot sights. Happy?

And yes, the guy on the other end of the line was the man from the boat house. Glad you enjoyed it.

Edit: a 1911!!...That'd be 641 years old! Damn good upkeep if you ask me. Maybe some ahole who sits at a desk on his phone all day can have one lying around somewhere.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Solidus Snake
Member


Joined: 30 Jul 2004
Posts: 281
Location: A dying Metal Community

PostPosted: Sat Mar 04, 2006 1:11 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yeah, I like the little introduction at the very beginning. The story seemed good but was kinda wierd and confusing, heh, I guess I got to go over it again.

When you gonna start doing that Six Generals series again?
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail AIM Address Yahoo Messenger MSN Messenger
STEEL RAIN
Member


Joined: 23 Jan 2006
Posts: 136
Location: WI, New York

PostPosted: Sat Mar 04, 2006 1:58 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Shit Mainevent you know your stuff, The M1 A2 goes 44 mph and is powered by the same turbine engine that the AH 64 Apache has but is restricted because the engine would tear the crap out of the drivetrain. The Abrams also fires six different rounds, sabot round -is a depleted uranium round, heat round -punches a hole in enemy armor and shoots a stream of fire into it, canister round -fires 1000 tungstun carbide balls (anti personel), AA round -proximity round used against choppers, HE shell, incidiary round -round filled with napalm Twisted Evil. Yes I am extremly happy Very Happy , but please dont dis the .45 becuase its still in use with the S.E.A.L.s, Green Barrets, and the best of them all DELTA. But It would be out of date by than. Crying or Very sad
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
Mainevent
Member


Joined: 30 Jul 2004
Posts: 796
Location: Mobel, Abalama

PostPosted: Sat Mar 04, 2006 4:02 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

44, I get confused when I think about a lot of different vehicles.

And no, I'd never diss the .45, but it WOULD be 641 years old. Perhaps its just so great that they kept it in production.

Six Generals might be on hold a while. After this, Fanatic and I are going to work on a Halo/SC crossover I think has a lot of potential and we're going to make it as good as we possibly can.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Solidus Snake
Member


Joined: 30 Jul 2004
Posts: 281
Location: A dying Metal Community

PostPosted: Sun Mar 05, 2006 1:00 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Mainevent wrote:
Six Generals might be on hold a while. After this, Fanatic and I are going to work on a Halo/SC crossover I think has a lot of potential and we're going to make it as good as we possibly can.


I see, well good luck on that.

\m/ Twisted Evil \m/
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail AIM Address Yahoo Messenger MSN Messenger
Guardian
BANNED


Joined: 26 Aug 2004
Posts: 831
Location: Kicked to the curb.

PostPosted: Fri Mar 10, 2006 11:04 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

You're such a nerd Main, good story, but still a nerd. good job on your ACT 6 more points and you can be a genius.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic    HBO Fan Fiction Forum Index -> Fan Fiction Comments All times are GMT
Page 1 of 1

 
Jump to:  
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum


Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2005 phpBB Group