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This Blue Rock/Turned to Black

 
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hboff
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Joined: 25 Jul 2004
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PostPosted: Fri Mar 03, 2006 4:22 pm    Post subject: This Blue Rock/Turned to Black Reply with quote

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This Blue Rock/Turned to Black
Posted by Solidus Snake (Megadeth18_Polaris@yahoo.com)
25 February 2006, 9:24 pm

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=Solidus_Snak0225062124431.html
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Solidus Snake
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Joined: 30 Jul 2004
Posts: 281
Location: A dying Metal Community

PostPosted: Sat Mar 04, 2006 1:19 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, hope y'all like it, and yeah there are some mistakes in there, sorry about that.

I'm gonna try and start working on Intro the Fray of Insanity again but its will frustrating because I had second part started and I lost everything in a hardrive crash. Confused
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CoLd BlooDed
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Joined: 09 Aug 2004
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Location: Noit acol.

PostPosted: Sat Mar 04, 2006 2:10 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Very nice, I liked it. The reference to Halo is vague enough to make this poem meaningful instead of fake or cheesy, yet solid enough to make it so we know what you're talking about.

Some flow issues, some memorable stanzas. Overall, pretty good job.
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SYSTEM
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Joined: 30 Jul 2004
Posts: 3743
Location: Tango, Oscar, Charlie

PostPosted: Sat Mar 04, 2006 3:10 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

My favourite lines were the first and the last lines.

Paint a great picture in your head.

Great, man, I've really enjoyed this poem! Keep it up, Sol! And good luck with the band!

- Dave.
_________________
"Lizzie Borden took an axe and gave her mother forty whacks. When she saw what she had done, she gave her father forty-one." - A child's nursery rhyme.

"When in doubt, empty your magazine." - Murphy's first law of combat operations.
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Solidus Snake
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PostPosted: Sun Mar 05, 2006 12:58 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thank you two, very much.

And I figured someone would like the last last.

\m/ Twisted Evil \m/
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