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Commander: Parasite

 
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hboff
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PostPosted: Sat Feb 11, 2006 10:39 am    Post subject: Commander: Parasite Reply with quote

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Commander: Parasite
Posted by Cthulhu117 (spartan_eric_271@yahoo.com)
10 February 2006, 12:59 am

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=Cthulhu1170210060059241.html
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Halo Fanatic 2005
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PostPosted: Sat Feb 11, 2006 11:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ooooh, dramatic.

I wonder whether anyone else is going to die because of him. Tut, tut.
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Dagorath
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PostPosted: Sun Feb 12, 2006 1:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I like it! This one was better! OMG the Flood OMG. Nice to think of the Flood as the Forerunner structure's protectors instead of just pains in the asses, though that's what they turn out as. I dunno about how Eraa got split up from his other Elites though, or how he allows his Grunts to run rampant.

Quote:
He was a good friend. A good person


OK, that was just flat.

A bit confusing at the end. The part about the knife FINALLY reappearing was good, I liked it, though I'm surprised generations and generations of Elites didn't notice it. In the end, I THINK that Eraa grabbed Azathoth and got teleported, so what was the point of the reactor beam (how did he know the knife blocked it anyway?) getting broken? Not enough explanation, I think. Please explain.
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Azathoth
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PostPosted: Sun Feb 12, 2006 7:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

He knew that the knife would block the reactor beam because there is a huge legend surrounding how the knife was made. It's unbreakable, kills everything it touches, etc. etc., all the myths that surround the weapon of a hero. I typed up a section about the knife's history, but as it was more than 3500 words long, I left it out. I'm thinking of submitting a modified version of it, with more development on Azo 'Sangheilee's story, if I get the chance.

Breaking the reactor beam would cause the facility to blow up due to the sudden lack of power for the energy conduits that maintain the asteroid's integrity. I could have sworn I put that in. *goes and checks* What the hell? There was a whole other paragraph between the last two paragraphs. I must have forgotten to save that version. Okay, here's what I meant.

What I would have wrote:
He reached up and grabbed Azathoth from the console. He lunged out with the knife, blocking the reactor beam.

He entered the Archangel almost reflexively. The reactor had been interrupted, and it was no longer able to hold the deformed rock together from its component chunks. The hangar was breaking up. 'Gamsamee knew he should feel sorry that a holy place of his Lords was being destroyed, but he only felt a void at the loss of his Commander and a twisted satisfaction that Alpha Warband was avenged.

And as he sat in the Archangel, mechanically and mindlessly entering the slipspace coordinates of High Charity, he felt a single tear trickle down his face. It had happened again. Another life had been sacrificed for his. He didn’t know if he could take such a thing if it happened again.


Actually, that should be 'what I would have written', but the BBCode won't stand for that, I guess.
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Dagorath
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PostPosted: Mon Feb 13, 2006 8:36 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Mmmm, ok, though one can argue that the Commander could have teleported first, using his OWN suit, then Eraa does it and cuts the conduit. But whatever.

You stole the Archangel from me, didn't you? It was in Riverside Party: Chapter 2:

Quote:
Behind the impeccably lined Spec Ops team was the Archangel. Completely black, it looked like an arrow, every surface gleaming. Twice as large as the Phantom, able to carry more than twice as many soldiers and equipped with plasma mortar cannons as well as active camouflage, it was the pinnacle of Covenant technology. Twice as large, twice as powerful and twice as cool as the Phantom, the Archangel was reserved only for the Covenant's Spec Ops forces.


If you didn't, then please accept my apologies in advance.
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Azathoth
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PostPosted: Mon Feb 13, 2006 10:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh yeah, I knew someone else made up the Archangel, but I forgot who, and the search tool on the Fanfic page doesn't work well with my browser. Sorry I didn't ask. I would have, but I didn't know who invented it, and a Seraph is too small to fit that many Covies.

As to the Commander using his own suit to escape, they needed pretty much all the power from both suits to get even one person out. DIGRESSION ALERT: I based this on how Cortana had to pull power from the Chief's suit to use the teleportation grid on Halo. That was a huge relief the first time I played the game. I'd just survived the hell of Two Betrayals on Legendary when I hear the Chief say 'Something tells me I'm not gonna like this.' I was freaking out, thinking I'd have to play the next level without shields or a HUD or something. And then it turns out it's all peachy, which is a relief, but an anticlimax.


This doesnt have a whole lot to do with the story itself, but this is what happens when you translate this:

They answered him. He knew they would. It had become a sort of formula. Every time they entered combat situations, they recited there ritual. "We know that by our death, great glory will be given to the Forerunners and the Covenant. And so we willingly shed our blood for the gods!"

from English, through five languages, back to English:

They had answered. He knew that. One had gotten to be from request of
the formula. They had put whenever it is of, that one that they had
written to the situations of the fight, rituale, here, that knows
"We that of our inoperative women, great reputation occurs
premonitory and for the obligation. And therefore we voluntāriamente
played the our alcohol for gods!"

Whaddya mean, what does it mean? I don't know.
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Dagorath
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PostPosted: Fri Feb 17, 2006 8:44 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Mmmm, ok. Maybe it wasn't me either.

It makes sense that either the Elites' shields aren't just as strong as the MC's or perhaps the power grid weren't as strong on the asteroid as on Halo.
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PostPosted: Tue Feb 21, 2006 3:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Wait a minute, I've realized something. Azo Sangheilee and Azothoth, is there some kind of connection there? Hey wait, it's Azathoth, not Azothoth. Confused

Journal of Suno Happer (Day 10: Father and Son) comming soon!
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Azathoth
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PostPosted: Wed Feb 22, 2006 8:01 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sorry, I haven't been on for a while. In answer to your question, HF2005, that is unintentional. Now that I think about it, it would be kind of cool if there was a similarity...but no.
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