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His Gods' Decree: Recruitment

 
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hboff
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Joined: 25 Jul 2004
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PostPosted: Sat Feb 04, 2006 9:19 pm    Post subject: His Gods' Decree: Recruitment Reply with quote

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His Gods' Decree: Recruitment
Posted by Dagorath (hoyinshan@gmail.com)
2 February 2006, 3:53 am

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=Dagorath0202060353541.html
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Wellington
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Joined: 30 Sep 2005
Posts: 110
Location: Canada

PostPosted: Sun Feb 05, 2006 3:54 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I continue to like your style and your interpretation. A good second installment with an abundance of little details that make for a nice read. It's also cool to see not only an alien culture from a unique perspective but also one that has a medieval air about it.

I did notice a few mistakes, though:

Quote:
but Rukt could saw his cold, calculating eyes.


Quote:
OK, my friend," he said, by the meaning of "friend" was very different.


Quote:
Rukt smiled and said: "But of course. Lead the way."


The last one I thought should have used a comma rather than a colon.

Also, I couldn't help but notice:

Quote:
six Brutes in leather armour


Where are you from? Strictly out of curiousity Smile

Good stuff. Looking forward to more; hopefully longer too Wink

- Arthur
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Dagorath
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Joined: 03 Apr 2005
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Location: Energy level 1.5

PostPosted: Sun Feb 05, 2006 5:04 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, there are British and American spellings.... I've used British in every single fic!
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Mainevent
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Joined: 30 Jul 2004
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Location: Mobel, Abalama

PostPosted: Sun Feb 05, 2006 5:12 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

And I must continue to disagree with your spelling. Wink
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Dagorath
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Joined: 03 Apr 2005
Posts: 264
Location: Energy level 1.5

PostPosted: Sun Feb 05, 2006 11:41 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yes, thanks for the constructive comment, Mainevent. Perhaps I've just been distracted by my latest project, which is way cooler than a stupid Brute running around on a primeval world Very Happy.
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