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This Hallowed Ground: A Poem

 
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hboff
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PostPosted: Fri Jan 20, 2006 3:41 pm    Post subject: This Hallowed Ground: A Poem Reply with quote

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This Hallowed Ground: A Poem
Posted by SeverianofUrth (severn117@gmail.com)
19 January 2006, 7:26 pm

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=SeverianofUr0119061926571.html
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SeverianofUrth
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PostPosted: Fri Jan 20, 2006 6:01 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

All of you smarties who visit the Expost forum will have read this already; though I made some small changes, it's essentially the same poem. But I added on the beginning; only I know it's meaning. Sounds mysterious, neh? Of course, it might mean absoutely nothing, but that's for n00bs... I don't bandy about in the mystical just to cloak myself in secrecy. It all has a meaning.

The 'note' I tacked on at the bottom felt appropriate. I hate being serious in a poem.

Thanks for reading, all. You guys rock.
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Commander Demitri Wolf
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PostPosted: Fri Jan 20, 2006 9:58 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The original poem on EXpost was really good, now this....this confuzzels the shit outta me. True Severian style I guess, keep it up.
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Dagorath
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PostPosted: Sat Jan 21, 2006 9:43 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yeah, it was really weird and didn't really make sense. The Covenant part kind of ruined it, but I guessed you had to keep it on topic. Liked the "prologue" though: thoughtful, intelligent.
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Chuckles
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PostPosted: Sat Jan 21, 2006 10:47 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

There are two reasons that I like your stuff so much, Sev. First, it defies easy explanation. If the reader is not engaged enough, they won't get it. More than any other author on here, you make us bring something of our own to the table when we read. And second, you tend to throw off conventional/cookie-cutter storytelling in favor of bold, moody strokes of feeling and impression. Maybe both those reasons are the same in essence.

Now to the poem.

While I liked, as always, your signature style, the content seemed a bit off. It pulled me in at first, since I thought the part in italics was superior to the rest, but the poem itself didn't seem to hit your usual level of quality.

Or did it?

Sorry, couldn't resist Very Happy

C.T. Clown
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Nick Kang
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PostPosted: Sat Jan 21, 2006 12:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ugh...my brains hurt.

Your changes from the EXPost version weren't entirely relevant in my mind, but I suppose they had deeper meaning too, eh?

Just like the version at EXPost, the meaning isn't entirely clear. I guess we'll figure it out if we stare at the *^ long enough.

I'm gonna go do that. Call me when lunch is ready. Razz
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Phædrus
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PostPosted: Sat Jan 21, 2006 6:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

... Confused

I think this deserves, in a very Dave Luckish style:

Double-you-tee-eff?


No, seriously Severian, this was great. I was reading it while whistling a tune sort of like One Vision, by Queen, and it was awesome. You should make this into a Hard Rock or Olde-style Heavy Metal song. That's where Dave comes in. Razz
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SeverianofUrth
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 23, 2006 7:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
The original poem on EXpost was really good, now this....this confuzzels the sh*t outta me. True Severian style I guess, keep it up.


Um... thanks, I guess. Yeah. Thanks, Wolf.

Quote:
Yeah, it was really weird and didn't really make sense. The Covenant part kind of ruined it, but I guessed you had to keep it on topic. Liked the "prologue" though: thoughtful, intelligent.


So you loved it? Yes, you did... you did... you loved it... Well, at least the prologue. Thanks, man.

Quote:
There are two reasons that I like your stuff so much, Sev. First, it defies easy explanation. If the reader is not engaged enough, they won't get it. More than any other author on here, you make us bring something of our own to the table when we read. And second, you tend to throw off conventional/cookie-cutter storytelling in favor of bold, moody strokes of feeling and impression. Maybe both those reasons are the same in essence.

Now to the poem.

While I liked, as always, your signature style, the content seemed a bit off. It pulled me in at first, since I thought the part in italics was superior to the rest, but the poem itself didn't seem to hit your usual level of quality.

Or did it?

Sorry, couldn't resist


I couldn't resist, either. Thanks.

Quote:
Just like the version at EXPost, the meaning isn't entirely clear. I guess we'll figure it out if we stare at the *^ long enough.

I'm gonna go do that. Call me when lunch is ready.


You're almost there, Nick. Almost there... just five more years. Smile

Quote:
No, seriously Severian, this was great. I was reading it while whistling a tune sort of like One Vision, by Queen, and it was awesome. You should make this into a Hard Rock or Olde-style Heavy Metal song. That's where Dave comes in.


If I had to choose a beat, I think I'll set it to Houses of the Holy. Thanks.
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MC's Cousin
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 23, 2006 7:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Strange... I was tempted to do just what was described but yesterday...


On a more serious note, I can't say I clicked in on this expecting what I read. The beginning... Felt serious and moody first off. Interesting towards the end; but the poem... You're just up to no good, Sev.

That is all.

Or is it?
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Dagorath
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PostPosted: Tue Jan 24, 2006 4:19 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sev you mind puting up a link to the poem in Expost? Cos I haven't read it and I have no idea what Expost is.
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SeverianofUrth
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PostPosted: Wed Jan 25, 2006 2:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Here you go:

s13.invisionfree.com/expost

It's a site run by Insomnia. There isn't that much activity writing-wise, but all the discussions seem to be going strong.
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